Here With You
by She Knows Best
Summary: Beast Boy and Raven haven't seen each other since an argument they had five years ago. Now, he's getting married. Is there any way that Raven can let go of the past and move on? But there's something fishy about his fiancee...
1. The Reunion

Well, I've been sidetracked from the story that I was supposed to be writing because I've been writing this story… oops. Well, here it is! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I was really making money off the Teen Titans, do you think I would be posting things here? Nope, I'd publish a novel or something and make even more money off them. Unfortunately, I don't own the Teen Titans, so I'll just have to settle with this :).

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**Chapter One - The Reunion**

It's been five years.

Five whole years since we broke up.

Aren't people supposed to be over things like this after five years? Aren't people supposed to move on and find someone better? Or if not someone better, at least someone else.

In the mirror I stared at a man in a pair of black slacks and a white dress shirt. His skin was an unusual shade of green, like the color of beach grass at twilight. His mouth carried a twin set of short, animal-like fangs. His face was very plain and blank at the moment - but his eyes were alive.

I don't want to be this anymore. I don't want to be here.

Robin walked into the room and pat me on the back, looking clean with his usually spiky hair slicked back for the ceremony.

"Congrats, man," he said as he offered me a wide smile. I felt my face transform and, by habit, I returned it.

"Thanks." I said, inwardly cringing at how false my cheerful tone sounded. His look turned serious. He searched the room to make sure we were alone before leaning in to me.

"So uh… how did you know… y'know, that you were ready?" He asked in a low voice. I smiled, feeling ridiculous.

"I guess you just know." I answered with a shrug. God, I sounded so lame. Everything I said sounded fake nowadays. Heh… nowadays.

In the "good old days," I wasn't like this. Yeah, I would tell horrible jokes for the attention I'd get (plus, I loved seeing that I could cheer people up), but I was never fake about it. When I was angry, people knew. When I was sad, people knew. When I was annoyed, people knew.

Not anymore.

I'm not what I used to be.

When Robin left, I stared into the mirror again.

I don't want to be this anymore.

It's been five whole years since I've been anything like what I want to be… five whole years.

"_I… I love you too,"_ she had said, _"I guess I have for a while now."_

She had flushed a bright, cherry red at her own words and bit her lip gently, but she gathered the courage to look into my eyes.

"_I guess I was just scared that you'd… that you'd say that you didn't really feel the same. That you'd get creeped out and run away. I… I'm not really used to talking about my feelings. I just know that I don't want to be alone again."_

Cyborg came in next, wearing a black suit that covered the more obvious parts of his machinery. He was probably the closest to understanding any of what was going on in my head. He put a hand on my shoulder, smiling at my reflection as he admired how well he cleaned up in the mirror.

"Today's the big day, man." He said, looking to see my reaction to his words.

"Yeah," I smiled back, my voice trailing off. "I never thought I'd actually do this."

He laughed at that, "yeah, I never thought you'd get laid, either." I smiled genuinely, feeling some old bit of normality slip into our routine. Even after all these years, I was mildly comforted by the knowledge that we would never change completely. We would still compete, argue and tease each other well into old age. For a few seconds, the room got quiet before he turned from the mirror to face me.

"Hey man, you're happy, right?" He asked seriously. I turned to him, another fake smile glued perfectly into place - I'd been waiting for this one.

"Of course, I mean, who wouldn't be happy? I'm getting married."

_-----_

I'm getting married. I should be ecstatic. I'm not. I want to turn into a bird and just fly away from all of this. Just get away from here and all the people waiting to see me walk down the aisle. I want to go back in time, to when the Titans were still just teens. To when Raven…

I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. Not much feels like it does.

I'm a 28 year old crime fighting super hero, I'm getting married to a gorgeous civilian, and all I want to do is run away. Run as far away as my legs will let me.

What happened to me?

Starfire was next to greet me.

"Friend Beast Boy!" She exclaimed as she engulfed me in one of her token bear hugs. She let go, then set her hands together by her face as she continued. "Today is most joyous! Would you allow me to recite the poem of great joy and celebration for you? It is only 87 versus long."

"Star… I," I started, hating what I loved about the situation. It was nice to think that Starfire would always be so young and enthusiastic, no matter what lemons life gave her. They were qualities that were quickly leaving me.

At my hesitation, she opened her mouth to start the first warbled verse of the poem.

"Starfire?" Robin called outside my door. I looked to the ceiling, sending a small prayer of thanks to the powers that be. Meanwhile, she pouted for a second, looking at the door, before turning to me with another bright smile.

"I am very pleased that you are happy, friend Beast Boy." She gave me another quick squeeze. "I am sure that your future will be most glorious."

_-----_

Raven was supposed to come see me next, but I had the curious feeling that she was avoiding me. On the invitations, I had asked all the Titans, along with Raven, to make sure that they saw me before the ceremony. They must have thought that I needed some kind of a pep talk, but I needed more than that.

I needed to see her again. At least one more time before I signed my life away.

Back in the mirror I continued my motions. I put the bow tie on myself and adjusted it until it was centered on my shirt. I put my cuff links on and tried once again to smooth back my hair, then stopped to stare at my coat.

The ceremony would be in three hours, but for some reason my fiancée had insisted that we get ready at a ridiculously early time. She was really very ridiculous…

Why am I doing this? I have to get out of here. I can jump out the window and become a bird. Probably a black one, so that my beak and feet will be the only recognizably green parts of me, then I can just… fly forever.

It was only the quietest of knocks, but I jumped at the sound. Did someone find me out? Did someone somehow know that I wanted to leave so badly?

"Co-" my voice cracked. I cleared it nervously. "Come in."

The door swung open, then softly closed. A lump formed in my throat and butterflies wrecked havoc on my stomach.

There she was.

Raven.

She looked radiant even in the God-awful dress all the brides maids were required to wear. The bright orange clashed against her hair, the drape was terrible… but she seemed to just radiate out of it. Like she was somehow able to send a projection of herself through it that made the dress fade away until it was just… Raven.

She looked up from the floor and stared at me. I almost flinched at the look I received. I had forgotten how good she was with the whole "cool and calm" deal. It made me want to tear out my hair and yell and scream - anything to get a reaction. But I knew that I couldn't do that. It wasn't her fault that I was here, it was mine. I was running away again.

"Congratulations," she said simply. I reached out, but at her flinch my hand froze.

"I-" what was I going to say? There was so much that needed to be said between us and yet, standing there in my tuxedo with her in that ridiculous orange and black dress, not one thing would come to me.

After we had broken up, I had spent nights avoiding sleep and thinking of all the different ways I could've handled our situation. All the different things I should've said. When I finally gave in and let myself sleep, she haunted me there, trying to hide her tears, trying not to show that she was hurt, that she was human, that I mattered to her enough to have the power to hurt her.

It had been a stupid argument, but then, all our arguments were that way. I just always thought that I would have the time to get her back.

Two days after the fight she left the Titans.

She had told everyone but me.

"I've missed you," I blurted out. Smooth one, Beast Boy. Just scare her away with heavy emotions coming from no where.

She stared at me, a part of her façade breaking as her face softened.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked quietly, staring at the fascinating pattern on the floor of my hotel room as she gently bit her lip. I knew that look. She hadn't meant to expose herself like that. She always bit her lip when she didn't want to show her emotions. I took a step towards her before stopping myself.

"She's happy." I said simply. Without a word we both knew I was referring to my fiancée. "She wants this." Raven looked up at me, her eyes shining fiercely.

"What about you?" She asked forcefully. I turned to stare at the floor, as she had been seconds before. It was a rather interesting pattern, now that I had the chance to examine it. Red as a background with brown, white and orange in an almost -

"Beast Boy," my head slowly raised as I heard her utter my name. It stung to hear it. How long had I imagined her saying my name again? How many nights had I sat up, simply imagining the way she said 'Garfield,' trying to retrieve it from my stubborn memory? And after the long wait, I still didn't have the satisfaction of hearing it in person. It _had_ been five years… "Please, what about you?"

I swallowed an embarrassing lump in my throat and stared at her. She was trying so hard to be strong, but I knew her better then that. She was hurt. She was fighting to keep her feelings from bursting through to the surface like they wanted to. I couldn't face her, so I resolved to stare at a spot just above her shoulder rather than try to meet her eyes.

"It doesn't matter." I answered finally.

"What?" Her tone continued to defrost, although it now had a slight hiss to it.

"It doesn't matter," I repeated, forcing my voice to become stronger.

"How can it not matter?" She asked, taking a step towards me. I wanted her to come to me again, like we used to go to each other. I wanted her to tell me that she forgave me for being such an idiot and that she had never stopped loving me. I wanted her to tell me that she had spent sleepless nights wondering what had gone wrong and how it could've been fixed, just like I did. I looked up. She must've sensed how hopeful I was because she immediately stopped moving. Stupid empath skills.

We were an arm's length away from each other, and after all the time we spent apart, I still couldn't face her. I ducked my head once more.

Our conversation felt like what I imagine all slow, agonizing, torturous deaths feel like. The death of everything that I've ever wanted with her. The death of our past. The death of the hope I'd harbored for the past five years, that maybe, just maybe, somewhere out there she was thinking about me, too.

"We both know that there's no way around this." I said quietly.

It would be better this way. It would be better if I could just let everything about our past go. It wasn't fair to my fiancée that I was standing in my room, getting ready to get married to her while I stared at a woman from my past with so much… emotion, I guess.

"Why? Why is there no way around this? Why can't we do anything? Why… Why didn't you try, just once, to find me or talk to me? Why couldn't you just let me keep my pride and talk me through my emotions? Why did you just…" she stopped, her voice becoming little more than a whisper, "forget me?"

I took another step forward, and try as I might, I couldn't seem to stop myself. I wrapped my arms around her, burying my hands in her hair, my face in her shoulder. She didn't welcome me, but she didn't try to stop me either, and that was good enough for me. I could feel her shaking with quiet, proud tears. Of course, even her tears wouldn't be able to resist the allure of her pride.

I took this opportunity to remember all the little things about her that would hold me over for the next couple of years. I stroked her hair, felt its silkiness. I breathed her scent and reminded myself not to forget it. I memorized the feeling of her fitting into me, seeking in me the comfort she lacked.

We stood there in the middle of the room for what seemed like ages - but it wasn't long enough. It could never be long enough. Finally, I broke the silence.

"Raven… I never forgot you. I'm sorry."

She was silent for a moment, seeming to digest the information.

"You're sorry?" She stood stock-still for a second before hitting me with her fists, trying to fight her way out of my grip. I held her tight. If I let go of her now, then the moment would be over and we'd go our separate ways again. If she had decided to scream at me or throw things at me, it wouldn't have made the situation any different. All we had were these spare moments, and I wasn't willing to relinquish them without a fight.

"You're sorry? I've spent five years wondering what went wrong, why we couldn't just work out our differences and our problems and move on. I tried writing you, Azar, I even tried calling you once… but nothing. Nothing. You never called me back. You never wrote back… Nothing."

She was crying again, but I was still trying to sort through the information she had just let slip.

"Rae… I never got any calls, or any letters."

She beat her hands against my chest with renewed strength.

"Let go of me. Let me go, Beast Boy!" Her eyes glowed with a black fire, and I had a feeling that I knew what was going to happen before it did. The darkness wrapped itself around me by her command and tossed me onto the nearest couch a good, safe distance away from her.

"I'm sorry that it wont be me with you today." She said plainly as she turned and grasped the door handle. She half turned to me again.

"Congratulations."

I stared at the place she had been, my heart feeling heavier than it had in a long time, before putting my head in my hands and letting myself cry.

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So, how about that? I've got about eight chapters in mind now… but we'll have to see how my writing goes. It could be more or less. I'll be explaining Beast Boy and Raven's history together and introduce Marilyn, Beast Boy's fiancée, in the next couple of chapters. And I promise that the next couple of chapters won't be as emotional, I just needed to introduce the "current" situation with the pair before delving into the details.

I appreciate any and all comments, so feel free to review. Just hit "go!


	2. The Good Old Days

Alright, so I meant to get this out yesterday or earlier today, but… well, it's a long story. To make it short I'll just say that things have been really, _really_ hectic around here and I've only just gotten a chance to get this chapter out. Hope you guys like it :).

Disclaimer: There's no "Mine" in "Teen Titans" or "Jay Leno." Unfortunately, Jay Leno actually owns you. He really does. Look it up.

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**Chapter Two - The Good Old Days**

Their first date had to have been the most nerve-wracking experience Beast Boy had ever faced in all of his twenty years.

He must have checked his reflection in the mirror forty-seven times before deciding that yes, his butt kicking crime fighter suit would just have to do. He wanted to show Raven a good time, but she didn't need to know how nervous he was. He had to be confident… girls liked that didn't they?

He hadn't been on a real date in months, and he didn't think he could name one other time when he'd been so scared of someone else's opinion. His last long-term relationship had been with a girl he met at a night club, and had ended badly (including her divulging embarrassing information to an eager Jay Leno) back when he was 17.

But he had known Raven since she was 14. He had watched her go through all the awkward changes girls go through, all while saving Jump City from eminent doom. And she had seen him work through puberty and slowly gain some small amount of maturity and confidence.

Ever since they were young, they had never had an understanding, like the one she had with Robin, or a brother-sister relationship, like the one she had with Cyborg, or even a very friendly relationship, like the one he had with Starfire. They had recognized themselves as polar opposites and managed to live with the belief that they could work together, but, try as Beast Boy might, they would never mix.

Until she was finally able to join with her emotions and don her ever elusive white robe.

The change in her had been shocking.

She would smile freely, laugh loudly, express anger, sadness - everything. She participated more in group activities, though she still put large amounts of time aside for meditating and reading.

"My powers are still controlled by my emotions," she had informed the team. "It's just that Trigon doesn't have any control of them anymore, they're all a part of me now, so I don't have to watch them as carefully."

And she still didn't think Beast Boy was all that funny.

The first time she had honestly laughed at one of his jokes, he had almost fainted. He swooned for a moment while she stared at him, before catching himself and staring right back. She simply rose an eyebrow and turned back to her book.

And that's when Beast Boy realized why he had tried so hard to mix with her despite the teasing, the anger, and the frustration he'd experienced.

She had the most enchanting laugh.

He wanted to make her laugh more.

He hadn't understood what it was, but the more he made her laugh, or smile, or joke around… the better he felt. And then one day it hit him, as things tend to, like a ton of bricks.

He was attracted to Raven.

She still teased him, and made fun of him and got annoyed with him… but there was something about her that he just couldn't shake off.

So he decided that he just… wouldn't. After a hard night of fighting for the health of Jump City, he had gotten up the courage and just blurted it out. At first she stared at him, the way she tended to when she thought he was being an idiot. Then she started to look suspicious. Then she started to look incredulous. Then, she started to blush.

That night he didn't get an answer.

The next morning, when the two of them were alone in the kitchen eating breakfast, she shyly asked what he had in mind for their date.

And that brought Beast Boy to stare at the mirror for the forty-eighth time that day. He smoothed out an invisible wrinkle in his suit and puffed out his chest. Not much more impressing then it had been at 17, he thought sadly, but it was by no means the chest of a wimp, and he would settle with that.

He ran his fingers through his hair nervously, disrupting the already messy mane, before leaving his room and heading to Raven's.

He took a deep breath before looking up at her door. It was the door that would separate him from the rest of his life. It was the door that would lead him to either the best thing, or the biggest mistake of his entire life thus far. He took another deep breath, then chickened out.

What if they went on this date, and she decided that he really _was_ just some stupid guy she had known since she was 14? What if she realized that he really wasn't cool enough for her and left him in the middle of it? What if she decided that he wasn't funny at all?

He took another deep, steadying breath. He had to calm down. If he could get a grip, then maybe he would be able to gather his courage and just knock on her door.

He stared at the obstacle in front of him.

Then he swallowed hard and gently knocked twice.

And then he felt really, really ridiculous.

Raven looked beautiful. She had made the effort to wear something other than her costume, instead opting for a simple, white, thin-strapped dress that ended mid-calf. She seemed to stand out, bright and pure against the dark, bluish light that filtered through her half opened doorway, but what struck Beast Boy was how small she looked without her voluminous white cape. Her hair looked silky and beautiful and dark, chopped short and near her head, the way she preferred it for combat. She had a light coating of makeup and her lips shinned, somewhat glossy.

_Star must've helped her get ready_. Beast Boy thought absently as he gaped at her. She flushed, looking down at herself and picking at the hemline of the borrowed dress.

"I'm… I should just change back." She said as she reached to close her door, blushing brightly and lightly nibbling her bottom lip. Beast Boy gently touched her hand, then stopped. He looked up at her, a slight tingle racing up and down his spine. Time seemed to freeze for a couple of moments with the two just standing there, half in the hallway, half out, staring at each other. Robin walked passed them on the way to the living room, coughing to hide a laugh, and the moment was broken.

"No… you look… very nice." He said lamely, blushing at the understated compliment. He looked down at himself and felt like an idiot again.

"I'll just go… change real quick." He said, quickly sneaking away before she could protest.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid._ He repeated silently as he walked back to his room.

-----

Beast Boy sat awkwardly in his Turbo Mobile, Raven silent at his side. The radio softly emitted the sound of a drum, electric guitar and bassist as a ridiculously emotional song rang through the vehicle. Neither passenger was willing to break their silence and find something more appropriate for the moment.

"So… where are you um… taking me?" Raven asked nervously, biting her lip gently.

"Oh I was thinking-" his voice cracked. _Wonderful way to start the evening. 'Well Raven, I was thinking about showing you what happened to me when I went through puberty. Thought this would be a good, awkward first date, don't you think?'_ He cleared his throat nervously. "Sorry." He mumbled.

Raven was glad to know that she wasn't the only person in the car slightly on edge.

"You were thinking…?"

"Oh, uh… I was thinking that maybe we could try this vegan restaurant downtown. I mean, they serve meat there too, so you don't have to worry about not ordering anything. They have a really great selection of beef there. I mean, that's what I hear at least… a fan wrote in about it and said that I should really go there so I thought 'Hey Beast Boy? What the hell? Why not just go try it sometime,' and since there was meat there I figured that maybe I could take you, since we're going on this date and all and I don't want to have to deal with going somewhere that I couldn't eat so I figured that this would be a good compromise because then we could both eat and enjoy ourselves and-"

"Beast Boy?" Raven quietly interjected. He stopped mid-sentence and looked sideways at her.

"Yeah?"

"Relax." She said simply. He turned a bright orange color.

"Sorry."

-----

The date had gone better than either had expected. They had gone out to the vegan restaurant, which Beast Boy really enjoyed, then (at Raven's insistence) went to a fast food joint to grab a (Beast Boy said nothing and simply stood outside the car in his bull form) Double Decker Hamburger and a shake. They followed that with a ridiculously scary movie that Raven had thought was awful. Beast Boy, on the other hand, had been terrified, and took every opportunity to bury his head against her shoulder in the dark. It hid his bright cheeks well.

It was very normal, and everything felt so natural for the two of them. They blushed a little, and stammered a little, and rambled a little (especially Beast Boy), but by the end of the night they were shyly holding hands. Beast Boy felt like that alone made the night worth it.

After their date, they would stay out late in the living room, talking. Raven would attempt to play video games with the changeling (who felt so bad at how horrible she was, that he tended to just let her win), and he tried to meditate with her. She even caught him trying to read one of her books on Azar once, and he caught her attempting to down a glass of soymilk.

The Titans started to notice the ridiculously long looks they would give each other when they thought no one else was watching, and the strange calm that surrounded the tower, but dismissed them as being coincidental.

-----

"Hey man, I've got a question." Cyborg said as he sat on the couch next to Beast Boy. Beast Boy turned from absently staring at the television to look at his metallic friend.

"Shoot."

"Can you explain this to me?" He asked innocently as he threw down a notorious tabloid magazine on Beast Boy's lap. On the cover was a picture of Raven and the green man holding hands and looking at each other while a big headline read 'Love or Lust? Inside the hottest couple of the Summer.' Beast Boy blanched.

"Uh… looks like the tabloids are reading too much into stuff again…" he said, grimacing at how obvious his sudden high pitch made him sound.

"Yeah?" Cyborg asked, picking up the tabloid again and flipping a couple of pages into it. "What about this?" He placed the magazine in front of Beast Boy again. It was opened to the center spread, where a huge picture of the couple nose to nose was dominant.

"Uh… we were having a really… heated… argument?" He answered dumbly.

"What about this?" Cyborg asked as he flipped the page again. This time there was a progression of photos, starting with the couple nose to nose, then the two kissing, then the two smiling widely at each other. Beast Boy blushed brightly. Caught.

"Ummm… I was… performing… mouth to mouth? Yeah! I was trying to save her life!" He answered, snapping his fingers and looking rather proud of himself.

Cyborg stared at him, then busted out laughing.

"BB, you're too obvious for this lying stuff."

Beast Boy simply sunk into the couch.

-----

They had been dating for a year before the two felt comfortable enough to be open with their friends about the relationship. Not one among them showed surprise at the news, although Robin discreetly handed Cyborg a twenty dollar bill after the announcement.

After that, they were more open with their affection. Raven didn't mind taking cooking classes from Cyborg and no one batted an eyelash when she tried to cook tofu pancakes for her green boyfriend. She set off the smoke alarm in the attempt, but no one really showed surprise at that either.

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Alright, so there's the second installment. I figured it would be helpful if Beast Boy and Raven's history together was explained a little more in depth before I get back to the wedding. I might continue with their past for awhile and switch between that and the "current" situation, so it might be getting a little confusing...

I got the idea about Raven's white robe after watching "Nevermore" again. It seems she only gets to wear white when she's completely at peace (see "Spellbound") or when she's joined with her emotions (see "Nevermore" and I'm assuming "The End Part III" although this could also be because all her emotions agreed that she was really, _really_ pissed).

Let me know what you guys think! I'm willing to answer all questions, and comments are greatly appreciated. Readers, go! Hahah, lame.


	3. Just a Heartache

Okay, finally up to number three. I think I'm doing pretty well with the whole "timely update" thing. School's starting back up for me pretty soon… so I'll _try_ to keep it up, but I can't really make any promises. It took me awhile to decide if this was really the way I wanted to go with this chapter, so I'd really, _really_ appreciate any input regarding this. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: She Knows Best + Teen Titans equals (for some reason I can't put the equal sign here...) -Three Lifetimes Worth of Savings. It's not happening people.

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**Chapter Three - Just a Heartache**

Raven and Beast Boy sat on an olive green couch in the shape shifter's room. It had been put in as seating for the Gamestation 3100 that he'd gotten from Cyborg the Christmas before. He rested with his head in Raven's lap while she sat up, staring blankly at the television in front of her.

"So how did you get the name Raven?" He asked nonchalantly, looking at her from the corner of his eye as he idly played with her hand.

"Well, the monks gave me that name, and I guess my mother just decided that it sounded like something that would stick. I know that here, ravens have a history of being supernatural, dark, unclean, evil… things like that, but there's an old Azar tale about a raven overcoming all the obstacles in its life, like the unkind nature it was born with, to triumph over evil. I think they were hoping that if I had the name, I would follow the story." She smiled absently, her eyes somewhat out of focus. "I guess that they got lucky."

"No way, Raven. That had nothing to do with your name. You worked your butt off to make sure that Trigon couldn't take over the planet. I mean, yeah, it took some convincing, but you did it in the end."

Beast Boy smiled up at her. She blinked a couple of times before leaving her memories and coming back to the present. She stroked his tangled hair, attempting to comb it out with her fingers, and smiled at him affectionately.

"Yeah, well let's just say that I had some pretty good help."

They were silent for a couple of seconds, smiling at each other, before Raven started speaking again.

"So what about you? What's the first name of the ever popular Beast Boy?" She teased gently. He smiled in return, puffing out his chest from his spot below her.

"Garfield." He answered simply, his chest deflating considerably. "Kinda wimpy, huh? I guess my parents were hoping that if they named me something wimpy, I wouldn't get into any trouble." He chuckled a little. "Boy, were they wrong."

"Garfield." Raven tested the name on her tongue. He looked up at her again. He liked the way his name seemed to naturally flow from her lips. "I remember Elasti-Girl calling you that, back when we first fought the Brotherhood of Evil. It sure is a long way from Beast Boy."

He smiled, "yeah, you're telling me."

A couple more seconds of silence ensued as the two noticed a commercial for the Titans action figures on TV. They had just started marketing merchandise of the new teens practicing to protect the Jump City of tomorrow. Raven watched rather comically as the stuffed versions of themselves flashed across the screen in varying degrees of overly bright, mind-numbing colors.

"Hey, you know how you were thinking about changing your alias from Beast Boy to the Changeling?" She asked, turning away from the huge, stuffed Beast Boy dominating the television screen to look at him. He looked up, nodding absently.

"Well, I think it's a good idea."

He smiled widely.

"I was looking up the definition of changeling and got something like 'an individual of deficient intelligence.' Thought it would suit you well."

He merely sweat dropped.

-----

_Even in my wildest dreams I could never imagine us… seriously… again._

Raven placed the most ridiculous looking orange flower in her hair, examining the way it contrasted with the purple tone of her mane. She felt… empty.

_I doubt that you could either. It just… it was never supposed to be with us. It's just that way with some people._

She stared in the mirror, observing the planes of her face, the laugh lines she had gained over the years, the hard way her face transformed when she forced herself to look indifferent. She was practicing again. Azar, it had been so long since she had felt debilitated by her need to keep from revealing her emotions.

_Most of the great love stories are that way. Romeo and Juliet… Tristan and Isolde… sure, it wasn't meant to be for them, but that's not to say that their feelings weren't real. That they were only imagining the satisfaction they felt in each other's company. That I only imagined…_

She sighed as she turned away from the mirror, fighting the urge to break into tears again. She closed her eyes tightly and gently repeated her three-word mantra, hoping to calm herself enough to control her emotions.

She was stronger than this. She was the product of a demon and a human going through a rebellious stage in life. She had witnessed pain and suffering. She had caused it. She had felt it. She had dealt with feelings of this nature before. If only she could contain them and somehow shrink them… somehow make them more manageable, she would find some way to survive the rest of the evening.

How had it come to this? How was she supposed to go through the rest of her life without his smile? Without his voice? His stupid, horrible, lame jokes and his stupid, horrible, lame cooking? Without his arguments on the evil held within the consumption of meat? Without his ridiculous amount of competitiveness?

_Most of the great tragic love stories are that way… I don't want us to be another tragic love story. I just… I wish I could know that this was really for the better. You'll be alive, somewhere, happy, somehow. You'll still smell the same way I've always remembered you smelling. You'll still smile the way I've always remembered you smiling, with those stupid little fangs of yours. You won't need me there… not anymore._

A tear fell from Raven's eye and the mirror on the vanity swirled with a black energy before cracking. She reigned in her emotions again with a sharp inhaled breath and looked up at her reflection.

It was fitting, that a cracked mirror should be what greeted her on the day of Beast Boy's wedding. The many pieces of Raven, stuck together at last, but not looking quite right. Some pieces out of proportion, some too big, some too small, all too lost. Like something of hers was inexplicably missing. That was how she felt at the moment. It was fitting that the mirror would recognize that.

When she had first seen him earlier, a little part of her had lost it. She had prepared herself, meditating in the room she now stood in, calming herself, practicing that ever famous look of neutrality that she had perfected over the years. She had reminded herself that it didn't matter what she wanted. She reminded herself that today wasn't about them or their past, but rather him and his future. She took an old printout of the two of them from her cloak and watched as she let her powers tear it to pieces. But when she had seen him, standing there with that familiar awestruck look directed right at her… she had just been so happy to see him, and so incredibly terrified. She had been heartbroken. She had been anxious. She had been a whole mix of things.

How was it that after five years, he could still do that to her? She had spent so much time after leaving thinking about him. She had written him a countless number of letters, but only gathered the nerve to send out four or five. She called once, but a woman had answered the phone and she had lost her nerve. The next time she called, no one answered and she left a shaky message on his machine.

"_Beast Boy… I've been trying to get a hold of you for awhile. I don't know if you just don't want to talk to me again or anything… I just wanted to see how you were doing. Starfire tells me that the new teens are doing pretty well, but I guess you can never really beat the original. I hear you're still living with everyone in the Tower. I really… I miss you. Call me back sometime. You know where to reach me."_

She slammed her hands against the vanity as another wave of tears hit her. She had worked so hard throughout her life to make sure that she was never this… pathetic. She had worked so hard to control the way she expressed her feelings, but all she needed were a couple of words and memories, and she was suddenly breaking down like her wounds were freshly made. It wasn't fair. It was absolutely ridiculous.

There was a light knock on her door.

"Friend Raven," Starfire said cautiously as she started to open the door. Raven turned frantically and shot a wave of energy to keep it closed.

"Hey Star… I'm… changing right now." She called as she quickly wiped her face and took a deep, albeit shaky, breath.

"Oh…" Starfire answered slowly. "You know that if you are ever in need of me, I'm here to listen."

Raven squeezed her eyes shut and wiped at them. She let go of her hold on the door.

"Star…" she said softly.

After Raven left the tower, she had tried to keep in touch with the Titans. Robin had always been so busy, working on this lead or that criminal pattern, that it had been hard for Raven to talk to him regularly. Cyborg had just started seeing Bumblebee, so it was hard for her to find a moment when he was alone to catch up. Although they all expressed a want to, Starfire was the only Titan to _make_ time for Raven, and the two had grown closer over their time apart. As for Beast Boy… well, he was another story entirely.

The Tameranian girl opened the door, then closed it behind her. She turned around, walked up to Raven and engulfed her in a hug, no questions asked. Raven buried her head in her friend's shoulder and let herself cry.

-----

"Gar… I know that this is going to sound weird but… is it okay if I… if I sleep in your room tonight?" Raven asked, suddenly flushing and biting her bottom lip, but keeping her shoulders back. "I mean, that movie just kind of scared me, and I don't want to have to sleep alone."

She paused to review her words, then quickly added, "I mean, not that we have to sleep in the same bed or anything. I just mean that it would be nice if I could be in the same room as someone else, you know?"

Beast Boy smiled and let her in without a word.

"You know Rae, I've been waiting for you to just jump me already. I know, I know 'but Beast Boy, you're just _way_ too hard to resist,' don't worry babe, I get that a lot." He said cockily as he walked towards his bed. She glared at him then scoffed.

"You wish." She said simply, but, _damn it_, she was blushing again. She hadn't thought about how… intimate… her request would make them. They had shared some passionate kisses, but hadn't gone much further, and she had certainly never seen him wearing anything less than his crime fighting costume before. Yet there he was, positively strutting with his over inflated ego, wearing nothing but a pair of purple basketball shorts.

He turned to look at her. She was so cute when she was flustered, and lately she had been more jittery than he could ever remember her being. Every little touch made her jump, and he had caught her zoning out with this crazy dazed look on her face more than once in the past few weeks. When he would wave her back into focus she would jump as though he knew something about her she didn't want him to, then just mumble and bury her nose into a novel of some sort.

He had never seen her this late at night before, despite the fact that they were both over the age of 20 and had been dating for just over a year. She was just too damn cute in her red and green plaid night pants and simple white top. She had her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, the mess making her look more human - more on his level. She sat on his couch and he moved to perch himself next to her.

"I promise to keep you safe, Rae. Tonight and every night you ever need protecting, you know who to call." He said affectionately as he slung an arm over her shoulders. She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"The Ghost Busters?"

"No! Me!" He answered indignantly. She smiled at him and cuddled into his side.

"Garfield?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

-----

"Maybe… maybe I should just leave now," Raven said pathetically as she wiped her eyes with a tissue Starfire had given her.

"If you leave now, people will notice the missing maid of the bride," Starfire pointed out, leaning forward on her arms. "Perhaps if you stay long enough for the ceremony?"

"I… I don't know if I can do it. If I can actually stand there and watch him marry another woman." Raven answered, staring at the floor as she had with Beast Boy. She looked up to Starfire, her eyes brimming with tears once more.

"I still love him," she whispered. "I want to be happy for him, I really do… I guess I've never really gotten over… anything, really. I tried to talk to him so many times… I tried so hard to… I don't know, Star."

"Perhaps…. Perhaps it is better that you stay for the ceremony. Perhaps it will help you to do the moving on?" Starfire suggested. Raven looked away again as another round of tears struggled free, but she took a steadying breath and nodded.

"Yeah, maybe it would be for the best."

----------

So, how was that? Was the switching between past and present too confusing? I hope not. I thought that juxtaposing (like that? I learned it in way back in my high school AP Lit class) the past and present events would make the current feelings of Raven more understandable. She used to get a lot of comfort from our green protagonist, but now he's offering it all to someone else, leading to many conflicting emotions from the empath.

As always, comments are greatly appreciated and questions are welcome. If you hate this story I encourage you to let me know constructively. I could always use the better writing tips :).

Thanks for reading, guys!


	4. Be Still

Alright, alright, numero cuatro for your reading enjoyment. I'm really sorry to everyone who took the time to review that i wasn't able to get back to. I've spent the past couple of days packing like crazy for college.

Disclaimer: I'm dissin' the claim that someone might say I have on the T, double E, N, Titans.

----------

**Chapter Four - Be Still**

The night it happened, they both knew instinctively that it would. Raven lay her head on Beast Boy's chest as he stretched his arms over his head.

"I can hear your heart," she whispered, taking in his scent. There was something so wonderful about it, intoxicating, sweet, deep, spicy - it encapsulated so many different moods and feelings, just like the former grass stain it belonged to. It never ceased to amaze her.

She had felt it for the past few weeks. She hadn't meant to probe his feelings, it had just kind of happened once in that stage between fully awake and fully asleep. She had felt it - the control, pulled taut after so many nights without anything more than a suggestive caress or frenzied grope. He had never let himself push her out of her comfort zone and she appreciated that he let her keep her boundaries. It had been so hard for him, though…

They had been dating for just shy of a year and a half. The two of them had been sleeping in the same room ever since the night Raven had come in seeking him for comfort, scared of some movie. Beast Boy had insisted that she sleep in his bed (he had traded the bunk beds in for a single queen-sized bed when he was 16) while he took up the couch. He waited until she was comfortable, then let himself give in to temptation and sneak back into her borrowed bed while she slept. She had gotten used to his late night visits.

But tonight was different. Tonight, the air felt different… charged, somehow.

"Are you cold?" Raven asked quietly, pulling the comforter higher over the two of them and moving closer to him. Beast Boy shook his head, not meeting her eyes and instead staring at the blankets on them. "But you're shaking." She said gently as she ran her hands up and down his arm, attempting to generate more heat for him. He shook his head.

"No, I'm not."

"Gar…" she said gently as she touched his forehead. She smirked at him. "I hope you're not getting sick. You're forehead's on fire."

"I just, I just need to breathe, don't worry about it." He said nervously. She stared at him, biting her bottom lip softly. He readjusted himself on the bed so they were face to face. He was still trembling, but it had mostly subsided. She leaned forward and they kissed. He gently stroked her waist as her hands traveled to his hair. She let them get tangled in the mass as the kiss became more passionate. He moved his hands up her back, holding her hard against him. The room started getting much too stuffy, so she threw the covers off them, then backed up to look at him.

She could feel it again. The restraint, how hard it was for Beast Boy to maintain it, and how much he wanted to for her comfort. She looked down at him, letting her fingers play across his chest. He had never been too good at growing hair on his face, let alone his chest. She let her hands run along the line from between his Pecs to the thin line of hair that disappeared into his shorts. His breath caught as she got closer, but she stopped before she got carried away.

"Garfield… maybe tonight… maybe tonight we can… we can see each other… fully." Raven said shyly. He gave her a hard look, searching to see if she was serious, if she was suggesting this of her own will. He sat up on his elbows.

"Rae.. Are you sure?" He asked cautiously. She was biting her bottom lip again. She nodded. He cupped her face in his hands. "If I do anything… and I mean _anything_ that makes you uncomfortable or scared… you'll let me know, right?" Raven nodded.

He leaned in for another kiss.

-----

Beast Boy ran around the kitchen wearing a chef's hat and a white apron that read "Kiss the Cook," in huge black letters. He and Raven had been dating for two years, and he wanted to make sure that she knew just how special she was, so he was doing the unthinkable: he was cooking meat.

When he had approached Cyborg with the idea he'd had to deal with ten minutes straight of the partially robotic man simply staring at him. Later on, in the hallway, he noticed Cyborg grumble and pass a twenty dollar bill to a satisfied looking Robin.

After several minutes of explaining, Cyborg had (albeit with a very smug demeanor) agreed to help him. He had started by outlining everything that would be needed for the night, all the best cuts of meat, the proper way to prepare everything, how to keep from cross contaminating the flavors. He had told Beast Boy how to tell when the meat was cooked well-done as opposed to when it was done medium-rare. Then, for safety purposes, he had written down all the instructions he had given the changeling.

Even Beast Boy had to admit that the kitchen was smelling rather mouthwatering.

_It's simple, really_, he kept telling himself, _I'll just never turn into a bull again_.

He made mashed potatoes, pot roast, peas, and pasta salad with two individual servings of crème brulee ready to be broiled for dessert. When he finished cooking, he sat down on a stool by the oven, satisfied with his creations.

He had laid the food out over a small dinner table that had been covered with a burgundy table cloth. Two places were set neatly - one for him and one for her. There were two long candles on either side of the pot roast centerpiece, and the lights of the living room had been dimmed significantly. All that was missing was Raven.

He looked at his watch. _She should be home any minute_.

Two minutes later he heard the distinct ring of the elevator hitting its desired floor. He jumped up quickly, throwing off the hat and the apron to make sure that he looked unsuspicious and stowing them in their proper cabinets. He met Raven and Starfire before they could get a full view of the room. Starfire sent him a knowing look and left Raven to show off their latest purchases to the rest of the Titans. He sent her a thankful smile and she returned it, grabbing the few bags the empath had purchased and leaving the two alone.

"Hey, what's going on?" Raven asked as Beast Boy covered her eyes with his hands.

"Shhh, it's a surprise," he said quietly. "Just trust me. I promise not to send you walking into any walls."

Sighing, Raven followed obediently. As they neared the kitchen she started to softly sniff the air. She furrowed her brows.

"What is that?" She asked suspiciously. Beast Boy shushed her, pulling her chair out with his foot. He sat her down without taking his hands off her eyes.

"You have to promise not to peek until I say you can," he said as he started judging the distance between where he was standing and where he needed to be sitting. She nodded, furrowing her brows suspiciously.

"Alright."

Beast Boy let his hands leave her eyes, waving them in front of her a few times before he was satisfied that she wasn't going to look. He grabbed matches from the table and lit the two accent candles before sitting down.

"Alright… open your eyes."

He watched nervously as she did, her eyes alighting first on him, then on the feast before them. Her eyes widened and she gasped lightly, then her eyes narrowed again and she looked at Beast Boy.

"You're going to tell me that this is your new fantabulous tofu recipe, aren't you?"

"No, it's… it's really meat." He answered anxiously. She looked back to the food before a wide smile split her face.

"Wow…"

"Dig in."

-----

The dinner had been beyond perfect, as far as Raven was concerned. The food had been prepared to perfection, and she had playfully joked that if it were ever just the two of them, he would have to do all the cooking. They had both smiled somewhat bashfully at that.

"But, I don't get it. What made you decide to cook real meat?" She finally asked. "And, on second thought, how did you figure out how to cook it so well?"

"Heheh," Beast Boy scratched the back of his head absently, "I got a little help from Cy."

Raven shot him a grin, "figures."

Beast Boy's smile faded as he stared at Raven. She stared back at him, suddenly feeling nervous again. He reached across the table and gently placed her hand in his.

"I guess that the main reason I decided to do it was that… well… I guess I just wanted to let you know that even if I haven't had the courage to say it… I love you, Raven."

She was silent for a moment, staring at their joined hands. He suddenly felt butterflies make themselves known in his chest. _Oh God._ He thought frantically, _she's going to have to tell me that she doesn't feel the same now. Beast Boy, you're such an idiot._

She finally looked up and offered him a small smile.

"I… I love you too," she said, "I guess I have for a while now."

She blushed brightly, embarrassed by how raw the words made her feel and bit her lip gently before taking a deep breath and looking into his eyes.

"I guess I was just scared that you'd… that you'd say that you didn't really feel the same. That you'd get creeped out and run away. I… I'm not really used to talking about my feelings. I just know that I don't want to be alone again."

Beast Boy let go of her hand and walked around the table, pulling her into a hug.

"I'll never let you be alone again. You don't ever have to worry about that, ever, again." He said gently into her hair. She clutched him to her and took a deep breath.

"I believe you."

-----

"I don't know what to tell you, man." Cyborg said softly. Beast Boy had just finished explaining his encounter with Raven to the metallic man.

"But… dude, she said that she wrote me, and she called me, and she even left a message… it doesn't make sense." He said as he rubbed a hand across his face.

"Did you check? Maybe go through some old fan mail or something?" Cyborg suggested. Beast Boy shook his head.

"It was so strange… sometimes I could've sworn that Marilyn smelt like her… I guess I thought that if they had that in common… maybe she could somehow replace Raven." He commented warily.

"Hey man, maybe you shouldn't do this. I mean, you'll be stuck with her for the rest of your life if you do." Cyborg pointed out, but Beast Boy immediately shook his head.

"No. No, this isn't just for me. It's for Marilyn. She's been so excited about this. I guess she's been planning her wedding since she was like… four years old."

"It's you're choice. But BB, do me one favor." Cyborg requested. Beast Boy nodded.

"Don't do anything that you already know you'll regret. No matter what the consequences are. You can't make everyone happy, so stop trying to. Worry about yourself first. Sometimes, you just have to."

"I know that… I just… I can't just leave Marilyn, and I can't just try running back to Raven. I doubt that she'd take me back after all this time, anyway, even if I begged her."

Cyborg was silent at that and Beast Boy averted his eyes from his friend, instead opting to stare at the world outside. The day had started off partly cloudy, but the weather had quickly deteriorated. Instead of the bright blue sky he longed for, Beast Boy faced the dark, swirling clouds of an oncoming storm.

-----

"It'sss ssset to happen today at five o'clock," a voice hissed from the dark. A slithering creature moved into the small shaft of light that penetrated the darkness of the room, but was again lost to the shadows as it passed to the other side of the lodging.

"Excellent," a deep voice echoed through the room, seemingly coming from everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

"But…" the hissing voice started hesitantly, "I worry that the Titansss will join together again. They're all here…"

"Silence," the voice boomed and the creature immediately acquiesced. "There is no chance for that. Their core has been fragmented for years, and I feel that a pivotal connection is under too much stress to participate effectively in combat. Do not speak of this again. Go back to your post."

"Yesss sssir," the creature briefly moved through the ray of light. A shadow scattered itself across the floor, indicating that a door had been opened and let the brightness of a hallway filter in before it was closed and all that remained was the beam of light.

----------

Alright, so there it is. I'm not sure when the next update will be, unfortunately. I'm moving into my college housing pretty soon, so things are going to be pretty hectic, but I'll try to update as soon as possible. My first day of school is coming up, too. Wish me luck! Hopefully I wont fall asleep in my classes. I have a feeling that my professors won't exactly love that…

So this is kind of hinting at a major plot point in the story that I'm sure no one will be able to figure out before my next post… uhm… yeah.

I welcome all reviews, comments, criticisms and questions with open arms, so feel free to leave anything you'd like. Thanks for reading, folks!


	5. The Wedding Part I

Alright, so things have settled down quite a bit from school now. I'm proud to say that I have most of my textbooks :). Of course I spent an arm and a leg, but hey, one day, when I'm looking at the degree that I didn't do anything with, sitting in the back of my stuff in the attic, I think it'll be worth it.

I tried my best to get back to everyone, and well… here's the next chapter! TA DA!

Disclaimer:  
There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters. -Alice Thomas Ellis  
And I love the Teen Titans… but I still don't own them. And I don't really know if I love Chase Credit cards, but I don't one of those either.

----------

**Chapter Five - The Wedding Part I**

Beast Boy sat in Marilyn's apartment, staring at the envelope in his hands.

The envelope itself looked unassuming. It was ivory in color with equally spaced vertical lines running down its entirety. It wasn't the envelope that had so completely ensnared the young man, it was the clear and decorative black print on it. The word it revealed both captivated and panicked him. It read, very simply: Raven.

He had been sitting at the dinner table for the past three and a half minutes, staring at the single word. He hadn't realized until three and a half minutes ago just how completely he had missed her. Sure, he was able to sleep at night now, and regrets for the two of them and what could have been only flashed through his mind occasionally - but he had missed her.

He turned the invitation in his hands, letting out a shaky breath. In his hands, he held his last chance of seeing his haunting former girlfriend. It had been three and a half years since the illogical fight that had ended their three year relationship, and in his hands, he held her invitation to the rest of his life. He held her invitation to his wedding.

_How's she going to react when she gets this in the mail?_ Beast Boy wondered silently. _She'll probably tear it in half._

Three and a half years apart hadn't really changed much.

He still caught himself scanning the news for her exploits. She had moved to a city down south, somewhere in South America, where she was the sole provider of comfort for the citizens. After a couple of months there, she had successfully founded Titans South West. She used her spare time to train new teens for the newly developed tower. Cyborg had gone down to help her set up headquarters and Starfire had insisted on going with him, leaving Beast Boy and Robin to watch the new teens being educated at Titans Tower.

The two returned the following week, bursting to the seams with their stories and updates on the former Titans West member. Maybe he was being paranoid, but he felt as though they were tiptoeing around him. When he arrived in the living room, the lively conversations would abruptly stop, and the subject that had been so obviously engrossed to them was immediately dropped. Not once did he hear his teammates so much as utter the name "Raven." He would often wondered if she had requested things be that way.

He turned the envelope again, staring at the elaborate script. This would be his last chance to…

_Last chance to what?_ He thought vaguely as he turned the invitation again before shaking his head. Last chance to nothing.

_This is stupid._ He thought as he readied himself to rip the envelope in half. He hesitated for a moment before sighing and simply taking it out of the pile marked, "To Be Sent." He stowed it carefully in the drawer of his nightstand, resolving never to send it to its intended recipient.

Two weeks later, he sent off the invitation.

-----

Beast Boy's first date with Marilyn hadn't been very remarkable. He had only agreed to meet with her for dinner to appease his increasingly worried teammates. He hadn't done much dating since Raven had…

He didn't like thinking about it much. Although it had been two and a half years since their split, he still felt the same about her. He didn't exactly mope, but his teammates noticed his lack of enthusiasm when an outing was suggested, and Cyborg started to worry about the tattered remains of Beast Boy's love life.

And then Starfire had caught on and started to worry as well.

And then Robin seemed to clue in and worry too.

And so, the three began their campaign to get Beast Boy out of the Tower, leading Beast Boy to offer Marilyn a first date.

It was nothing outstanding, just dinner out with the girl. They had met at the Titan's signature pizza parlor during stage number six of the break-up: grudgingly attempt (and fail) to move on. He had been stuck on that one for awhile…

His comrades had noticed him and Marilyn talking, and (despite the fact that Beast Boy looked somewhat strained) encouraged him to ask her to dinner. They had gone to a big, busy, impersonal Italian restaurant two nights later. Later in the week, he admitted to himself that he hadn't really given the date a fair shot, leading him to call Marilyn and ask for a second date.

He picked up a pair of jeans from his floor and sniffed at a shirt to make sure it still smelled somewhat fresh before pulling it on. Tonight, he was going to take her to a movie. Sure, it wasn't much more personal than the dinner, but what did they expect? Dinner for two in the Tower? Nope, it wasn't going to happen.

-----

On the big screen before them a man in a badly done disguise mumbled something before shouting. Beast Boy laughed and leaned forward more, accidentally displacing the popcorn he had bought for himself and his date and spilling it over said date. He turned, surprised, guilty and somewhat embarrassed. He had spent the night so engrossed in the movie that he had forgotten all about the girl he was supposed to be showing a good time.

"Sorry about that," he mumbled as he tried to watch the movie and clean his mess at the same time.

"Don't worry about it, sugar." She replied, leaning closer to him as she picked up the various pieces of popcorn.

The date had, again, been unremarkable, and Beast Boy seriously doubted that he would ever ask Marilyn on a third date. There just wasn't any chemistry between them. Not like with…

She seemed to have a good time, but he found most of her conversation boring and hated the little pet names she would use. She barely knew him! How could he be her "sugar" already?

It was as the two were gathering the impossibly numerous kernels of popcorn that his animal-sharp senses picked it up.

Wafting up from his horribly uninteresting date was an uncomfortably familiar scent. It was so recognizable… the owner's name was on the tip of his tongue but… he froze.

She almost smelt like Raven.

-----

Beast Boy and Raven stood in the empath's room, cleaning up the mess made after a battle with the Hive 5. They had snuck into the Tower and managed to get into Raven's room before being detected. Unfortunately for Raven, that meant that the battlegrounds had consisted solely of her temple…

"Y'know Rae, I never expected you to have a thing for peaches. They seem a bit too… sunny for you." Beast Boy teased gently as he held up a small bottle of peach body spray. She blushed brightly as she wrinkled her face into a glower. She hoped it was formidable enough for him to drop the conversation and swiped the item from his hands fiercely.

"I love peaches." She admitted, moving the bottle to a spot by her bed.

"Aww, c'mon, I'm just teasing you." He said as he pulled her into a tight hug and took in her scent with an exaggerated deep breath. "I love how you smell. It's not just the peaches… there's something else there. I can't tell what it is… but I can smell it."

"What exactly is it you've been sniffing?" Raven asked suspiciously as she eyed her underwear drawer. He frowned at her, almost pouting.

"No! You leave a scent everywhere, you just can't smell it. It's… nice."

She smiled wryly, "oh, please, stop spoiling me with your abundance of compliments."

He laughed in response and nuzzled into her neck.

-----

It was sweltering hot today, as it had been for the past three weeks. It was like this nearly every day of the calendar year, but she had long since gotten used to it. As an offering to the Powers That Be, she had left her cloak behind and instead opted for a long, thin bit of fabric that worked as a skirt of sorts. It wasn't as shielding as she preferred, but the small addition made her feel that much less exposed.

Her white leotard clung to her like a second skin as she left the cool, air conditioned interior of the Tower to greet the mailman. He handed her a couple of bags full of letters, the bulk of which was undoubtedly sent by fans. She took them with a "thank you," and made her way back to the chilly indoors of the Titans South West headquarters. She sighed as she reached the mail room, staring again at the piles in front of her.

At first she had thought it would be a good experience, teaching the younger generation the best way to battle so that they would be successful when Raven and her fellow Titans got around to retiring. She had gone down south to get away from everything, and just sort of… fell in love with the area. It was a new start for her, and the area was rife with distractions in the form of villains, big and small. She didn't have to think about Gar -

_No,_ she silently corrected herself, _I didn't have to think about _Beast Boy.

Shaking her head of thoughts best left alone, she stared at the mail again.

Yeah, she had thought it would be fun, until she had seen the more practical part of the whole "running a training center for young superheroes," deal. Among other things, she realized with increasing horror, she would have to make up a chore list. Robin had always been in charge of that kind of thing at Titans Tower and she hadn't once thought to ask him how he did it. She considered calling him and begging him to make the list up for her (along with a grocery list… and a list of needed cleaning supplies… and a filing cabinet… and a filing system for that cabinet…).

Looking back, she started to really appreciate all the work that he had done for the team. He hadn't been much older than any of the other members, but he had taken it as his task to organize every little detail, something he would later claim to have gotten from his dad. He had a way of getting the rebellious teens to just shut up and do what they had too, and it hit Raven that he had always led by example. Deciding that this was the root of his success, she decided to do the same. When she made up her list of chores and who was to do them, she dejectedly added herself to the cleaning crew.

"Electro Boy… Tubig… Breezy… Electro Boy… Me… Tubig… No, I do not want a Chase credit card… Robin? Wrong Tower… Me… Breezy… Me…" Raven stopped as she eyed the fancy envelope addressed, in elaborate script, to her. Her brows furrowed unconsciously as she stared at her name before flipping it over. "You're Invited!" it said simply on its sealed flap. Confused, she opened it. Out flopped a small, ornate card. She lifted it, opening it in the process than ceased all movement for the space of a second. When it passed, she let the card fall from her hands. She stared at it, her palms still up as though the simple contact with the ivory of the invitation had burned her skin.

"You are invited to the celebration of the union between Mr. Garfield Logan and Ms. Marilyn Jackson," The opening words read. She continued to stare at it, feeling an empty pit open up in her stomach.

_Oh God… what… how can… he's…._ She continued to stare at the thing, putting space between her and it as though it would bite her should she get too close. Her eyes were staring to sting. Her chest was becoming unbearably tight. Her breath came in short, quick gasps.

Despite all her efforts… he was getting married. She had tried to call him. She had tried to write him. She had tried to get in contact with him so many times…

But there was the proof that things were never going to be resolved between them. There it was, sitting, deceptively innocent, on top of the table in front of the mailboxes marked for the various Titans.

He was getting married.

Her breath was coming in more labored. A lump formed, hard and unwavering in her throat. God, it had been so long since she had allowed herself to cry over him. She couldn't do it now. After all this time, she couldn't let herself cry.

"Hey, Raven," Electro Boy said as he walked into the mailroom. She pushed past him into the hallway and quickly made her way to her bedroom.

"Uhh… what'd I say?"

-----

She lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. It had been painted a deep, dark violet-blue with various lighter dots throughout it. It reminded her of the night-sky as she used to see it at the Titans West Tower when she couldn't sleep and meditating wouldn't provide any solace. It had always had a strangely soothing affect on her. Out of all the different people on all the different planets floating around up there, she couldn't be the only one to feel so unbearably alone.

After four years, she should be happy that he had managed to move on. He deserved that. He deserved to be with someone who would make him happy enough to get… married. She should be happy that he had found someone to fill the space she had once taken with him. _God knows I haven't_. She thought scornfully.

Their relationship had ended so badly… she just wanted things to be… alright again.

_Maybe… maybe it's better this way._ She thought, turning onto her side and closing her eyes tightly. _It just didn't work for us. I'm… happy… that he can find someone it works with…_

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, before standing and letting her legs float into the lotus position. Softly, she started.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

-----

_Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos._ Raven thought, taking another, deep, subtle breath.

Today had to be the worst day she had ever been forced to experience. Under even the most devastating circumstances, she had always had her thick wall of fear to keep her calm. She had always had the image of her demonic father floating around in the back of her head, to keep her in check. She had always had her emotions locked away from both herself, and others, in a mirror that she treated with the reverence of a monk.

But she had given that all up years ago in favor of the simple pleasure of… well, feeling. And now, when she least wanted to, she was forced to experience every bit of the emotional rollercoaster she had forced herself onto.

An elderly man walked down the aisle, followed by an equally aged woman. Both had younger escorts show them to their seats near the front of the cozy little church. A younger looking man and woman followed, both accompanied by younger family members. When the woman took her seat, the ceremony began.

She shouldn't have come. She had wanted to see him so badly… but she should have known better then to try and reunite with him on the day that he gave himself to another woman. She swallowed a hard, persistent lump in her throat, then closed her eyes and let in another steadying breath.

The priest walked into the church, followed by Beast Boy. Raven's heart clenched as she stared at him. He looked just like she remembered - green skin, green hair, slight fangs, medium build. She looked away quickly. A figure took his place next to her and she turned to see Negative Man.

_Of course I'd get stuck with _Negative _Man._ Raven thought, grimacing inwardly at the irony. The pair didn't speak a word as he led her down the aisle. At the altar she gathered her courage and let her eyes meet those of Beast Boy. He was staring at her. God, why was he staring at her? With a Herculean effort, she offered him a smile.

It was like slow torture.

_Azar, this would be so much easier if I could just go into that damn mirror and tell my emotions to leave me the hell alone_. Raven thought absently as she watched the proceedings.

Two girls no older than seven walked down the aisle next, tossing flowers through the air and onto the ground around them. Behind the pair, a ring bearer struggled to keep the flowers from marring the prize he brought down. He scowled at the girls constantly as he held the soft, red and black pillow high over his head.

Raven fought to keep her eyes open despite the way they burned. If she gave in and relieved them, there was the possibility that someone would notice, or that she would start crying again and ruin the whole damn wedding.

The opening notes of "Here Comes the Bride," announced themselves through the church. Raven's breath caught slightly at the jovial chords and stared at the flowers in her hands. If she didn't look, maybe she would be able to survive and accept what was happening.

_God I'm pathetic. _She thought, inhaling deeply. _I'm happy for him._ _I'm really happy for him. Really, really I am. I mean, he was my friend. He was my… friend. A really good one. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn't support him today? It's a big day for him…_

With a much more shaky breath, Raven willed herself to look up once more. A crowd of happy relatives and well-wishers met her eyes. A second later she felt a strange, shaky feeling begin in her chest. She furrowed her brows slightly as she tried to place it. Something was wrong. To her left there was a frantic cry, then Robin's authoritative voice cut through the sudden din.

"Titans, go!"

----------

Part cinco is finished :). Let me know what you guys think. I'm getting a bit more into the action part of this story… but I've never been good at writing fight scenes… so I really can't promise anything, except that I'll do my best to make sure it isn't total and complete crap.

The first one to spot the Tagalog reference in this chapter is my new hero. _Seriously_.

Comments, questions, suggestions, criticisms and reviews are always appreciated.


	6. The Wedding Part II?

So when I said last time that school had settled down quite a bit, it turns out that I lied. Things have not settled down. In fact, I'm supposed to be writing a paper that's due in about 4 hours. HAH!

I'm sorry that this update took so long. This chapter was, _by far_ the hardest I've ever had to write. I'm not cutout for these fighting scenes…

Alright, well, without further ado, here it is: "Here with You" chapter six! Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I can't think of anything remotely creative right now. I don't own the Teen Titans or the Doom Patrol.

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**Chapter Six - The Wedding Part II?**

_I'm really going to do this. I'm really going to get married. _Beast Boy thought as he took the latest of many long, deep breaths. He closed his eyes softly. _What the hell am I doing?_

He watched silently as Raven walked up the aisle. She kept her eyes focused down at her feet as she moved, making her way down the pre-set pathway with his former companion and current Doom Patrol member. It wasn't until she reached the altar that she looked up and met his eyes. He felt a slight pinch in his chest.

The way she looked at him… it was almost as though she was trying to tell him that she was fine, that everything would be alright… that she forgave him.

_God, what am I doing? Someone has to do something. Someone has to get me out of this. What am I doing? Oh God, what am I doing? _His thoughts came more frantically as he stared at the door of the church. It stood wide open, revealing a tantalizing tease of the dark clouds sitting just beyond his reach.

He wanted to go to them, to dance in the rain when it came down. To feel the air pressing against him. To revel in the rare moment of bad weather. To forget that he had obligations and promises and people, bright as sunshine, waiting for him. He wanted to just let loose.

He wanted to escape.

He froze up for a second, involuntarily.

_Something's wrong._ He thought vaguely before a small, ironic smile lit his face. _Something other than the fact that I'm getting married. Heh, that sounds weird. Really, really weird. Oh man, what am I doing?_ Again, his body tensed. He responded to the somewhat welcome distraction with narrowed eyes.

Something was wrong.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Mento slowly searching the crowd and joined him in his task, searching for any hint at trouble as the dreaded wedding march filled the air. After confirming that nothing around him was out of place, he shook his head.

_Alright Beast Boy, deep breath. You just need to relax. There's nothing wrong in here, its just you. Just the pre-wedding jitters. Just the -_

Beast Boy's head jerked up as a high-pitched shriek rang off to his side.

And there it was, the thing that was making him feel so wrong and off balance. It was a…_thing_ slithering down the aisle. The figure of an oversized snake was barely concealed by the remnants of a once pristine, white, wedding gown. Its deep, olive green skin was marred with black, white and bright, neon orange patches. It swiftly made its way down the aisle, dragging the beautiful white dress it wore along the pathway that led up to the altar of the church. It managed to get within reach of a reporter from the Jump City Times before Elasti-Girl reacted. As the petrified man stared up at the bent head of the snake, Elasti-Girl stretched her arms, ripping the sleeves of the ridiculous orange dress, and clasped her hands around the creature. It slithered out of her reach and turned back to bite her when the familiar command was issued.

"Titans, go!"

"Doom Patrol, get outside and help everyone get out of here!" Mento commanded.

Beast Boy's body immediately tightened, but the clothes around him restricted any useful movement. He tore off his coat as Starfire took to the air above him. Civilians ran screaming through the building, easily jamming the single double door of the church. The members of Titans East migrated after the Doom Patrol, attempting to calm the excited mess.

Robin jumped forward, his coat, tie and dress shirt discarded, his Bo staff at ready. He met the creature with a blow to her side which she acknowledged with a low hiss. He went in for a jab at her abdomen but she reacted too quickly for him, grasping the staff in her ridiculously small hands and tearing it from his own. He jerked for a moment before acquiescing and watching his staff fly in a deceptively graceful arc in the air to land somewhere in the crowd of civilians. A collective scream was heard and he cursed harshly under his breath, jumping towards the frantic horde.

Starfire took this opportunity to shoot a green orb at the creature. It hissed as she continued her onslaught, attempting to dodge the volley of flying starbolts. The room filled with smoke as Starfire paused, carefully heading towards her target. The smoke before her was broken by an empty pew, which shot in the direction of the airborne Titan. It met her with a sickening thud and a surprised "oomph!" before landing, clearing the smoke, to reveal a triumphant-looking reptile.

The look didn't last long as she was immediately struck in the side by an oddly colored ram. She let out a shriek of anger as she landed on the ground, then turned to the newly human Beast Boy. It didn't seem possible, but the snake's face seemed to contort into something between a sneer and a smile. It hissed at the man before her.

"Ssssssugar," she said lightly, slowly slithering towards him. His eyes widened.

"Marilyn?" He stood, rooted to the spot, his jaw slightly slack. She was getting closer to him, but his body didn't seem willing to move with his mind. Her eyes glowed bright blue, but they had changed, gotten an almost dead, unused look. Her tongue flicked out before her, gauging the distance between herself and the changeling. That menacing look - how was it that she could look both blind and menacing at the same time? - never left her face. Her head reared back.

_C'mon Beast Boy, move! Move! Get out of her way! _He thought vaguely as he tried to move his legs, to no avail.

"…Zinthos!"

A pew wrapped in black energy suddenly hit the supposed bride with a fury that he remembered well. He looked over his shoulder, snapped out of his daze, to see Raven floating in the air behind him, the sleeves and skirt of the god-awful dress in tatters. She looked at him briefly, her face cleared of expression, before turning back to the battle. Cyborg had joined the fray, blasting the snake and yelling out profanities regarding the expensive of his newly ruined suit.

Marilyn hissed loudly as she went in to bite the partially robotic man. He dodged neatly, continuing his tirade as he shot her from another angle. He moved in and managed to get a punch in along her side. Marilyn let out a single, long hiss before reaching out and trying, once again, to bite at him. He dodged, goading her on as he again resorted to sending blue orbs in her direction. She pressed on his space, pushing him further back towards the opposite wall, following him through the pathway between pews. He let out a startled yelp as she managed to grasp the arm that housed his sonic cannon, then fought viciously as she attempted to remove the equipment from him. He got in a punch to her side with his free fist. She responded by shaking him, making all other attempts at contact moot. He grunted the moment his robotic arm left his torso as he flew backwards into Robin, who had stopped herding citizens out of the building momentarily to help the newly freed Starfire. The two collided with a twin set of startled yelps and Starfire stared, wide-eyed at them before shaking herself out of her brief reverie, yelling "I am truly apologetic, friends!" and turning her attention to the frantic citizens.

Meanwhile, Beast Boy took the opportunity to come at Marilyn in the form of a gorilla. He raised his arms over his head to make a fist intended for her, but she moved out of the way quickly, going in for another bite. She missed as he took the shape of a turtle, pulling into his shell as it connected with the hard tile of the church floor.

A black camcorder stole her attention away from the green animal. She turned to find the source of the flying object, to see Raven hovering in the air, her eyes and hands glowing an eerie black color. From behind her, Cyborg and Robin shook their heads and got to their feet.

Beast Boot took the opportunity to ram into Marilyn again, this time in the form of a buffalo. She hissed as he pinned her to the wall with his horns, but there was something about the sound that just wasn't right. He could feel it in his bones again… there was something wrong.

She shuddered under him for a moment, trying to bite at him and attempting to free herself. She watched Raven levitating just above his shoulder and let out a piercing, near human scream. Beast Boy tore back, inadvertently reverting back to his human form. Raven lowered to the ground, covering her ears and cringing. The floor beneath them started to shake and the few civilians still in the room became a jumbled mess all over again.

The pair closest to the source of the wails turned their attention to the unexpectedly shaking floors. Cyborg and Starfire turned to look at the source of the screaming while Robin jumped back, attempting to push the rest of the startled people out of the church.

Marilyn didn't seem to have an end to the air pent up in her lungs. Her scream continued for a good 30 seconds, the ground shaking just as surely as her voice was ringing, before anything else happened. Starfire was the first to notice it.

"Friends," she shouted over the high-pitched noise, "what is that sound?"

Her companions didn't answer, slowly becoming aware of a second, lower noise filling the room. They met, out of habit, in the middle of the room, forming a circle with their bodies facing out as they scanned the room. Starfire and Beast Boy quickly stepped apart to let Raven join in her once familiar spot. She took it, ignoring the strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, trying to forget how great it felt to be with her old team again.

There was a faint, but deep hissing. A voice boomed, instantly silencing Marilyn's scream.

"Hello Titanssss," the voice echoed. "We have had yet to meeet like thisss."

"Who are you?" Robin yelled, his body tensed with the uncertainty of the battle.

"Why Raw-bin," the voice drew out the syllables of his name. They dripped with familiarity. "You alwayssss have to interrupt, doon't you?"

For a second the room was silent. The five heroes scanned the area before them, attempting to locate the source of the sounds.

"Beast Boy!" Elasti-Girl yelled from outside as she caught sight of the group. She moved to enter the church, Mento, Negative Man and Robotman fast on her tail, when the large double doors suddenly shut themselves. Outside, thunder could be heard, accompanying the loud thumps and muffled cries sounding from just beyond the door.

"Guys!" Beast Boy yelled on instinct, leaning out towards the room's single entrance. He slowly closed his outstretched hand.

"Sssilenccce." Marilyn said as she slithered forward. She jerked backwards suddenly, as though struck before letting out a low hissing noise and returning to her previous position.

"Yo, what is this?" Cyborg yelled, absently rubbing his newly attached arm.

"You people can never ssstop talking, ccan you?" The voice asked. The five remained silent in response. "Thatsss better. I have waited ssso long for thisss moment. I have ssspent yearsss wondering what it would be like. And now here you are, thanksss to you, Beassst Boy."

The green man flinched at his name, remembering the betrayal of Terra.

"What did you do to Marilyn?" A steady, emotionless voice asked. Beast Boy glanced over in surprise at Raven, who floated gently above the ground.

"Nothing at all, my dear," the voice boomed. "Ssshe is my cchild, created for my ussse. I have mixxxed her DNA with that of a demon, ssso ssshe iss now only part human and part what you sssee before you noow."

Raven visibly flinched as a low laugh swept through the room, but quickly schooled her features back into indifference. The laugh abruptly stopped.

"Enouggh. Mamba, finisssh them."

The room went silent for a space of two seconds before the earth started shaking beneath the team again. They pushed back into each other, shrinking the circle, as they resumed the task of identifying the source of the sudden quakes. Marilyn let out a high-pitched, maniacal laugh. The windows of the church broke, sending splinters of glass through the room. A bubble of dark energy flew from Raven's fingers, encapsulating the team and keeping them from harm.

"Guys, that doesn't sound too good…" Beast Boy trailed off as another hissing sound became apparent. It was getting much louder, but, unlike before, it seemed to be coming from under them.

The floor of the church finally gave in under the constant shaking and split, the Titans on one side of the crevice and Raven, alone, on the other. She turned quickly and met eyes with Beast Boy, and for a second, she looked like she might be afraid. He turned and readied himself to jump when the floor gave in again and the crack got larger and deeper. The hissing got louder and he looked up to meet Raven's eyes.

And for a second, he looked like he might be afraid.

-----

Outside the moon shone brightly, a full, milky orb. Beast Boy lay in bed, gently stroking Raven's bare arm. He smiled a little as she let herself cuddle into him in her sleep, releasing a small, dreamy smile.

She was so beautiful. He couldn't get over how lucky he was. To finally, after all these years, have something that he knew was worth hanging on to… it was really more than he had ever thought he could deserve. He had just never really had any luck with the ladies. He had been in one long-term relationship before, and prior to that… well, it was mostly just flirting and casual dates. Nothing to hold onto.

But Raven hadn't paid too much attention to how awkward he was, or how he tried to be macho, or the fact that he was… well… _green_. She had seen an annoying little guy who wouldn't quit until she _made_ him. He smiled gently as he continued to stare down at her.

But what did she see now? What did she see when she looked at him? Every time he looked at her, his heart sped up just a little, and whenever she smiled at him, he seemed to get this warm feeling that originated in his stomach and slowly spread to the rest of his body. At first he didn't know what it was, but then he started to fall in love with her and he had understood. It just seemed so natural to just… fall for her. She was the sarcasm that kept him in line, the dark that made his light all that much more needed. The notion of him falling in love with her was so… _logical _that it didn't scare him the least bit.

It absolutely terrified him. And that was why he lay in his bed, staring down at the woman in his arms and avoiding sleep for the fifth time this week.

He had never felt so strongly for anyone in his whole entire life.

He stroked Raven's hair absently as he shifted his eyes to focus outside of the window, on the silvery source of light outside.

How do you train yourself to deal with loving another individual? He trusted his friends and loved them, but it was a different kind of love. He would give his life gladly for any of them, and their deaths would absolutely crush him, but Raven? If she died… well, he would too.

He had never been so aware of someone else's need for him.

And in return, his need for someone else.

It terrified him.

Every single day, another way to die was staring them straight in the eye. He was afraid that one day he wouldn't be watching, and he wouldn't be able to protect her. He tried to suppress the feeling, tried to tell himself he was being stupid and ridiculous and that her need for him would never find its way into the battle field. He tried to tell himself that if anything, she would need to save _him _from a tight situation. But even with his self-given reassurances, he found himself worrying about her. Every time a villain went for her, he wanted to jump between them. He wanted to tear the wrong-doer limb from limb. He wanted to make sure that nothing could ever hurt her. She meant everything to him…

He didn't want to lose her.

He had lost so much already.

Raven let out a small, tired moan and opened her eyes a little. He looked down at her startled, afraid that he had woken her up with the intensity of his feelings.

"Loosen up," she said groggily. With a start, Beast Boy realized just how hard he had been holding her and quickly followed her orders. She moaned a little more before burrowing back into the warmth of the pillows.

He closed his eyes softly before heaving a short sigh and staring out of the window again.

----------

Alright, like I said, first time I really made myself do a fight scene, so I would really love feedback on it. If it's total crap, don't be afraid to tell me so, but please also tell me why its total crap so I can fix it for next time. Thanks for taking the time to read this! Oh, and I meant to mention that because of how long it took for me to get this chapter up, I posted a one-shot centered around Robin and Starfire (not related to this story). Feel free to check it out :).


	7. Miracle

Okay, I'm not going to bore you guys with an author's note - I'll save that for the end :).

Disclaimer: Did you know that in the latest Teen Titans comic book, the Tower is based in San Francisco? Yeah, that's pretty cool, San Francisco's pretty great. Did I also mention that I don't own the Teen Titans? For the sake of clarity, I don't own San Francisco either.

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**Chapter Seven - Miracle**

He had to think. He had to get to her. He couldn't let her fight alone. He was starting to panic, he could feel it. He was loosing control. He had to do something!

"Beast Boy!" Robin called, attempting to stare at the opening gap in the ground, and Mamba at the same time. "Fly over there!"

Without a second thought, he followed the command.

The hissing was getting louder and louder. The sound had sharpened and become concentrated in the widening slit that had appeared, breaking the once perfectly placed gray tiles.

"Hey guys, I don't like the look of that," Cyborg said as he slowly brought his sonic cannon up, aiming straight at the crack. There was something slithering in it…

No, there was more than just "something" slithering in it, there was a whole pack of "something."

The gap was swarming with serpents.

"You guys take care of the snakes. We'll get Mamba." Beast Boy called out as he landed next to Raven. She turned to him, wordlessly stepping into his open arms. The hissing that lay just in the background of the scene seemed to shift away for a moment as they listened to each other's breathing, as if to convince themselves that yes, this really _was_ happening. Beast Boy held Raven to him tightly, as though afraid of letting her go again, and briefly buried his head down into the crook of her neck. They were quiet for only a moment, listening to the sound of Robin's exploding bird-a-rangs, but God, it felt like so much longer.

"It's alright," she said softly, sensing his emotional state. "I'm not going anywhere right now."

She wrenched herself out of his arms and turned to fully face Mamba.

_Right now? What does she mean by that?_

"Raven… I…"

She held up a hand, her back still to him. He shook his head in response, then followed her lead.

-----

"Gar…"

"Call me Beast Boy."

"But I… I don't understand…" Raven said softly, taking a step towards the green man before her. Traces of white flour stood out in her hastily tied ponytail.

God, he had known that this was going to be hard, but he hadn't realized just how hard it was going to be.

_I have to do this_. He thought finally as he tried to ignore the look on her face. The "Kiss the Cook" apron she had borrowed from him looked so… uncharacteristic on her, that he wanted to laugh. He wanted to do anything other than what he was doing.

_If I don't do this now, I'll end up losing her later. It's not worth it. Everyone I love… they end up leaving. I can't do it. I can't lose her._

He forced a smile, trying to look casual as he leaned against the side of the kitchen counter.

"Well, I mean, we've had our fun, right? It's been, what? Three years?" He tried to ignore the pain in his throat and continue, "we've had a good run, but I'm craving something… new."

"What… what do you mean, 'new?'" Raven asked in that same low tone, her gaze unwavering on his face. He watched as she tried to keep her eyes open, willing the moisture that was gathering there to become scarce.

_I have to make this a clean break. There can't be any loose ends. I have to tell her it's over. If I don't… I'll end up hurting her. She'll come to me when we're fighting and I get hurt, and she'll end up dying. Or I wont be able to get to her in time, and she'll die that way. She'll end up leaving like everyone else has. She's got to find someone else. I can't let her be with me… I can't… I can't hurt her._

He resolutely ignored the small part of his mind that told him he was taking the easy way out - that he was running away.

"I mean new, y'know, as in not old?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. "And I mean, sorry, but this is getting a little old, don't you think?" Raven's eyes went blank in response.

She had just looked so beautiful and so… approachably human, there in the kitchen, flour everywhere, trying in vain to make him a surprise birthday cake. When he had walked in, he had gotten the overwhelming urge to just sneak up behind her and wrap his arms around her. She had stood with a set of measuring cups in her hands, staring at the cookbook laid across the countertop as though it had suddenly sprouted two heads and started speaking French. He had gotten that body warming feeling and he had just…

_Okay, maybe I am running away._ He admitted silently._ Maybe… maybe I _am_ just trying to shield myself from the inevitable_.

He deliberately ignored the small part of his mind that told him he was running away not because their break-up was inevitable, but because he didn't to find out if it was. He wanted to keep the vision of Raven, in love with him just as much as he was crazy for her, in his mind forever. He didn't want the memory to be marred by her death, like his parents; or her betrayal, like Terra; or even the Tonight Show, like his last long-term girlfriend.

"We're still young." He said, his voice softening, feeling himself crack just a little. God this was hard. How had she managed to keep her emotions under wraps for so long? Maybe he should've meditated before this… "There are other fish in the sea."

The cabinets started rattling, encased in black energy and Raven gasped, reining her usually controllable powers in. For a moment, emotion flashed in her eyes again.

Pain. That was all he saw. An unbearable pain.

And he wanted to take it all back, to say that he was sorry and that he didn't mean any of it. To admit how scared he was. To tell her that he loved her. But before he could make any attempts Raven turned away from him, clutching the sink for a moment before turning back around and leaving the room. The timer on the oven whistled shrilly at her departure.

That night he lay in bed, feeling cold and strangely alone, and he wondered if he truly _had _done the right thing. There _had_ to be a better way he could've handled the situation. He went over the kitchen scene in his head a few times, tossing and turning on his too-large bed.

Raven never gave him the chance to apologize. Two days after the argument, she had vanished from the Tower.

-----

"Ssssorry to break up thisss little reunion ssugar," Mamba said, her voice eerily similar to the one that had boomed through the structure minutes before.

"Stop calling me that," Beast Boy said simply as he took up a fighting stance. Raven's hands glowed black again as she floated gently a foot or so above the air. All her attention was focused on the large reptile.

"Aww, but ssugar, you always loved when I called you thaat, esspeccially in -"

The woman was cut off suddenly as a black light streaked off in her direction. She laughed deeply, dodging the strike.

"Enough." Raven said simply as she took off towards the snake.

In the background, various blasts could be heard as Robin, Starfire and Cyborg took on the serpents attempting to get out of their underground prison.

"God, how did they manage to get so many under the church?" Cyborg asked no on in particular as he kicked a clearly marked coral snake back into its place.

"I have a feeling these weren't all here before." Robin said as he threw a freezing bird-a-rang into the fray. A section of the reptiles froze mid-motion. Robin brought his Bo staff down on them, sending ice everywhere as more snakes came up to hastily take their place.

Mamba charged at Raven, her fangs clearly visible. Raven dodged the woman, sending her into the wall easily.

"That's it?" She taunted as she threw one of the broken pews at the overgrown serpent. She hissed in response, throwing her arms out and breaking free of the ruble left by the piece of church seating. Raven jumped back, debris sweeping towards her former spot. A green bird flew down, pecking at Mamba furiously. She reached up and grabbed it, throwing it back to the other side of the room before bringing her attention back to the empath.

"I don't believve we'vve been formally introduccced," she said slowly, smiling that strange, sneer-smile again. Raven's fists tightened as the sound of Beast Boy colliding with a wall rang under the din.

"I'vvve heard a lot about you, though. You were the girl that cccouldn't keep your maan." Mamba said with a laugh. A speaker usually used to project the sound of the church's band hit her in the back of the head. She fell, caught off balance for a moment. Raven took the opportunity to throw a podium from its rightful spot behind the altar at the confused reptile. She cringed as a religious text fell from one of it's compartments and looked towards the ceiling, ignoring the fact that she was half demon and quietly whispering, "Sorry about that one."

Mamba stayed on the ground, hissing and shrieking pitifully under the podium before the voice found its way into the church again.

"You'vvve failed."

The church shook once more, more violently this time, making the onslaught of snakes harder to control and keep confined to a space.

"Noo!" Mamba shrieked as she changed suddenly from a snake into a woman. Her blonde hair and milky shoulders made the tattered dress she wore look particularly scandalous.

The building was coming down with the Titans trapped inside, all means of escape endangering anywhere from one, to all. Raven responded the only way she knew how. She groaned against the weight of the falling church as she set a bubble of dark energy around herself and the team. Marilyn struggled to look up from her spot to see the empath standing perfectly well, and screeched again. She grunted as she crawled forward, attempting to make her last stand.

She was getting closer, but Raven was too busy trying to keep the weight of the church structure above her head to notice. It wasn't until Marilyn started to beat at the shield that her eyes finally opened.

If Marilyn didn't stop soon, the shelter she was working so hard to maintain would collapse. A loud laugh escaped the former bride as she recognized the girl's predicament.

"You'll all die." She said simply, sneering at Raven. Raven stared at her, her eyes starting to glow white. She didn't have much time. If the building went down anymore and Marilyn continued… then she was right, they really _would_ all die.

She let the shield over herself fall.

Marilyn laughed loudly before collapsing, still gurgling as a column meant to hold the weight of the building fell onto her arm. Raven groaned as a piece of ceiling caught her leg. She ignored the pain and sat, cross-legged with her eyes closed tightly. She didn't have enough energy left. She couldn't get herself back into her shield without the risk that it would fall for a moment and take everyone out with it. Frustrated tears gathered as she attempted to think a way out of their predicament. She wasn't going to be able to save them.

"No," she said aloud to no one in particular as her face hardened. She opened her eyes. "I won't fail them."

-----

Beast Boy shook his head, still a little dazed from his earlier collision with the wall. His rented dress shirt was riddled with gray stains and torn in more than one place. He took in his surroundings. The church was still there but it was all kind of… gray. The Titans were huddled in the middle of a small dark bubble. He looked up to find debris floating above his head. It took a couple of seconds for him to connect the three.

"Where's Rae?" He asked instantly, forcing his gaze from the mess overhead.

"Friend…" Starfire said gently as she placed a hand high on Beast Boy's arm. She was crying. He shook his head, searching the small space frantically.

"No… no, where is she?" He asked, still shaking his head firmly.

Oh God, it was happening. He hadn't even been around her for a couple of hours and it was happening.

His eyes found her outside of the barrier, meditating as the room paradoxically came down around her.

He watched as her eyes closed, a wet trail making itself known on her face.

No… no, it couldn't really be happening. This was a dream. All a bad dream. He was going to wake up any second now with Marilyn purring up against him. He was going to get married to her. She was _not_ really a creepy snake thing. No, this was just pretend.

"Raven!" He yelled, trying to beat his way out of the darkness. He watched as she grit her teeth firmly, her eyes tightening against the strain he added. Cyborg and Robin closed their eyes then moved to hold his arms back.

_Raven, come on Rae! Don't do this! Please, I need to tell you… I need to… I need to do everything, and say everything, and we still have five years to make up for. Come on Rae, don't do this._

"Guys, you can't let her do this! You can't just let her die! We've got to do something, we've got to save her, anything!" Beast Boy cried frantically as he attempted to get out of their grip.

"There is nothing more that we can do." Starfire said softly, tears falling down her face unimpeded. She turned and buried her head in the shoulder Robin faced away from Beast Boy.

"What do you mean there's nothing we can do? There has to be something. Rae! Raven, can you hear me? Don't do this!" He yelled, still struggling against the firm grip of the two Titans. He could feel the tears falling down his face, but no, he refused to accept it. He still hadn't gotten to apologize. She couldn't just… die now.

"Raven!" He yelled as the roof of the church finally caved in.

----------

Alright, so how was it? That's all for Marilyn, as far as I've got it in my head. There'll be some discussion over what happened to her, how she got how was was and such, but overall I think she's done with.

I had a weird thing happen last time I posted a chapter, and I wasn't sure if it was actually something happening or if I was just going crazy, but some people posted comments, and they never showed up here on FF.N. So I'm thinking… were those real reviews? Or did my email just… get really weird. If you posted a review last time and it isn't up on here, can you let me know please, so I can find out what's going on? Thanks :).

As always, questions, reviews, comments and criticisms are all welcomed and taken with a grain of salt. I'm always open to suggestions, so feel free to send me some of those to :).


	8. With or Without Her

Disclaimer: Yo no tengo el Teen Titans.

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**Chapter Eight - With or Without Her**

The room was pristine and dominantly green, not a speck of dust visible, not a single shirt out of place. The only thing marring the perfection of the area were the sheets littered across the deep green bed, pulled in spots and tangled around a dark, olive green man. He lay bunched under the covers, his eyes wide open and bloodshot.

"_Make sure she moves as little as possible."_

"_Get her down on the bed, softer man, softer."_

His room was too clean, he didn't really like it. His breathing was somewhat irregular. It sounded as though he would start to hyperventilate, then calm himself down, then start all over again, and he was constantly sniffling. The Teen Titans Digital Beast Boy Alarm Clock glowed 3:46 am in bright green numbers.

"_Is she going to be okay?"_

"_Well, my systems say that she's alive, but it looks like her self-healing hasn't kicked in."_

"_What do you mean it hasn't kicked in? How can she not be healing herself right now?"_

"_Look man, I don't know, I'm just telling you what's going on. It looks like her survival instincts came on at the last second. Otherwise she would be…"_

"…"

It was happening, just like he had known it would. It was happening, and it was all his fault. He had broken things off with her to avoid their current situation. He hadn't wanted her to get hurt - but none of it mattered. Despite all his efforts, he found himself awake in his bed with the knowledge that she would've been safe and sound if he had just been able to leave her alone. If he had just been able to resist the temptation to invite her to his wedding, this wouldn't be happening.

He should've paid more attention. Shit, Marilyn was Mamba. _Mamba!_ The first animal he had ever _fought _was a _black mamba_. Why the hell had he thought it would be a good idea to change into a hawk? He should've become a giant mongoose. This wouldn't be happening if he had just changed into a giant mongoose.

"_What is required of us to make Friend Raven better?"_

"_I don't know, I'm going to go ahead and set her tibia and fibula."_

"_I'll get her cape off."_

"_Thanks."_

In fact, this wouldn't be happening if he had just stayed away five years ago. He had seen something in her that he had known - that loneliness and the lack of inhibition that came through in her laugh. He hadn't realized it before, but maybe that was what had first caught his attention. He knew, on some levels even more than the others did, about being alone. He knew what it was like to be a freak. He knew how it felt when you forgot how to smile.

That was why he was so playful. That was why he was always cracking lame jokes. That was why he was always working as the comic relief.

He never wanted to forget again. He never wanted to feel that way again. And God, having people around him happy too… Maybe he was just trying to erase all those old memories.

"_Is that all that's wrong with her? Just a couple bones?"_

"_It looks like she's broken a couple of ribs, her skull's fractured, and - well, I better go ahead and set her humerus too."_

"_Her skull's fractured? Wait, does that mean she's going to have brain damage?"_

"_She might, but if her healing kicks in - sorry Rae, this is probably going to hurt a little - then she should be fine."_

Yeah, he had felt that attraction to her, and look at where it got her. Stuck in the medical bay because he couldn't think fast enough. He smiled wryly, shutting his eyes tightly as though he could shield himself from his own mind. She had always told him he was slow. She was usually right about things like that.

"_Alright, yeah, she'll be fine. She has to be fine. She's Raven, right?"_

"_Friend Beast Boy, we all know that Raven is of the survivors. She will not be so easily defeated."_

"_Easily defeated? A whole freaking building fell down on her!"_

And now it might cost the only person he had ever truly connected with in his life, her life. What kind of a price was that to pay? He should've stayed away from her. There was something wrong with him. Maybe the Sakutia had brought about a curse. Maybe everyone he loved really _did_ have to die - the price of his own survival. But it wasn't worth it. If everything he touched was sentenced to death… it wasn't worth it.

"_C'mon, maybe you should go outside for a bit. Give Cyborg some room to work."_

"_But… Raven…"_

"_I'll call you if anything happens."_

-----

"Is there any change?" Robin asked, leaning against the back of the couch in the Tower's living room with a sense of lofty tension. His body was positioned in a way that seemed stoic enough, and the way that he laid his arms across his chest looked moderately detached, but there was a foreign tension to his shoulders and a heaviness to his breathing that conveyed his suppressed emotions.

"Nothing negative. It looks like she's starting to heal herself, but she's not working very fast," Cyborg answered. He wasn't as great at hiding his emotions as the leader of their pack. His body was tense as he stood across from the Boy Wonder, his eyes both distressed and resolute. He didn't attempt to cross his arms over his body, instead holding them at his sides, not really interested in what they were doing.

"I did some research on 'Mamba.'" Robin said as he surveyed his silent party. "From what her DNA sample's told me, Marilyn Fisher, codename 'Mamba' was created from spliced DNA, part human, part demon. It looks like her mother - or whatever that thing in the church was, didn't give birth to her. I was looking through some old police records and found a Marilyn Fisher with the same description that was kidnapped in Metropolis twenty-two years ago. I haven't been able to contact her family yet."

"So you're saying that she's been with that thing since she was… what, five?" Cyborg asked as more tension filtered into his body.

"Four," Robin corrected solemnly. The group was silent as they processed the information.

"What must be done to help Friend Raven do the recuperating of the body?" Starfire asked, her arms wrapped around her as though she could use them to protect herself. She never attempted to put on a strong front. Ever since Raven had been admitted to the medical bay the day before, she hadn't left her room for anything other than food and water. She hadn't cried at all - she had _wept_. Robin had gone in several times trying to comfort her, but found himself at a loss for words. He had held her for a bit, then felt awkward and made up an excuse to leave. He would go back to his room, think about what he could say then go back to start the pattern all over again. Her green eyes were bloodshot and she made no attempt at hiding the tremor in her shoulders as she took in breath after shaky breath.

"Well, right now it looks like its all up to her." Cyborg answered, his shoulders sagging slightly. The room reverberated with the sound of a fist meeting the wood of a table.

Beast Boy stood on the other side of the kitchen counter, staring at the spot where his fist had connected with its surface. He had changed out of his tattered wedding clothes late the night before, instead preferring to pace just outside the doors of the infirmary in hopes of positive news. His posture was nothing like any of the other Titans. His eyes were wide, his face was bleak, his shoulders didn't seem to have the strength to hold themselves up. He hadn't spent the night before holed up in his room sobbing - his grief was _much_ too quiet for that. He had lain in his bed and accepted the responsibility he had garnered for the current welfare (or lack thereof) of his former girlfriend and teammate. He hadn't tried to sleep. He hadn't tried to get out of his room. He hadn't tried to eat. He hadn't really tried to do anything. His teammates didn't have the heart to try to influence his actions. They had called him for their regular weekly meeting, and that had been all.

No one said anything in response to his outburst.

"Right," Robin said, nodding slightly although his shoulders sunk just a touch as well. "Starfire, have you ever seen anything like this on Tamaran? Do you think we could find a way to help her there?"

"I shall try." She responded, already abandoning her teammates in favor of the possible solutions on her home planet. Robin nodded to her back.

"I'll search through hospital records and check for cases in the United States. Cyborg, you take international." The tin man nodded in response, walking off towards his room. Robin faced the green titan next. He still hadn't looked up from his hand. "Beast Boy…"

He didn't say anything more. His teammate swallowed hard then nodded without so much as looking up, and headed out of the door. Robin closed his eyes briefly, sighing gently before he let his posture fall apart. He rubbed his face with his palms and took a deep breath before shaking his head and walking towards his room.

-----

"I know this is going to sound strange, but have you ever felt completely helpless? Stupid question, of course you have. You're the daughter of a demon, of course you've felt helpless.

"I feel that right now, Rae. I know that… that it's been a long time, and I know that I brought this on myself and… yourself and… I'm sorry. I can't… I'm sorry."

Raven lay in silence, her only response the steady beep of her heart rate monitor. Beast Boy played with her hand idly, staring at it as he gathered the courage to look at her face.

"Y'know, when you left, I was a pretty big mess. I know, _I_ broke up with _you_ but… Rae, I was… well, stupid would be one word. Really, really stupid. I felt like somehow, you would just figure out why I broke it off and (he gently snapped his fingers). I shouldn't have put you through any of that, I was just… I was scared. I mean, what was I supposed to do?"

He stopped for a moment, laughing bitterly at his own words as his lips curled into a cynical smile.

"Look at me, even when you aren't conscious I'm defending myself. Ignore that. I was _supposed_ to talk to you and tell you I was afraid because I've never… felt like this for anyone before. I know it's been five years, but to tell you the truth, I don't think I could ever feel that way about anyone else. Corny, right? I figure you should know the truth, even if it doesn't mean much now… I did what I did because I was scared… And I didn't want to lose you. It's like, everything I've ever loved… and I mean _really_ loved, I lose it. My parents for one thing, then my first, well… attraction… don't kill me for this when you wake up, promise? I'll take that as a 'yes,' but there's Terra. I didn't want to lose you too. Lot of good that did, right? You're still here, in the stupid sick bay."

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes briefly before opening them and surveying the woman before him.

"…It's really weird to see you here. You look so small… and I know that you aren't really. You can hold your own anytime. Maybe its all the… bandages. In all the years we've fought side-by-side, I've never seen you bandaged up. And it sounds like you're barely breathing, but its kind of peaceful. I just have to hold my hand up to your nose every once in awhile to make sure that you're still… y'know… You look so pale, I think it might just be because the sheets are so… white.

"But still… I know this is my fault, and if you hate me for it when you wake up… I understand. Because you _are_ going to wake up Rae, and I promise that whatever it takes, I'll do it to make it up to you. I promise."

He took a shaky breath as he let his forehead rest against her arm. His eyes closed gently.

"This is going to sound really selfish Rae, but you've got to get through this. The team needs you to. _I_ need you to… Please… I lov- just… please."

He tried to block it from his mind, the image of her right then. For a split second… for just a split second, she had almost looked dead.

-----

Calm had reclaimed Titans' Tower, muffling the most obvious traces of sorrow with the repetition of a simple routine.

Robin was the first to wake up in the morning. He would slide away from Starfire and change silently, trying to ignore the pillow, wet on her bed. He would slip into his room, change and make breakfast for the house. He would set aside a portion of tofu waffles and soymilk which he would later bring to Beast Boy, who had yet to relinquish his spot by Raven's bedside. He would make small talk, try awkwardly to comfort the man, then sit in silence and watch Raven breathing, watch the monitors indicating that her life hadn't been stolen from her yet and try to cheer himself with her slow but steady progress. He would exit and retreat to his room, scouring the internet for any similar cases in the fifty states, though he doubted any existed.

Starfire was usually the next to awaken. She would stretch in her bed, go to the living room for breakfast, then head back to her room to research any similar cases on other planets. She had started on Tamaran, but found that there was, well, nothing to find, so she had taken it upon herself to broaden her search parameters. She would trudge back down to the living room and make lunch for the team, bringing a small meal to the green man. She didn't say much when she was there, she would simply place his plate near his scarcely touched breakfast, then take the empty chair next to him and cry as quietly as she could. He would look at her from time to time, his green eyes streaked with red. They had a silent understanding that neither of them needed to say anything. Just by sharing their likewise emotions so openly, they were saying all that was needed.

Cyborg spent most of his time in his room, researching over the internet for clues to help them from other countries. His T-Car was gathering dust, as was the oversized television screen in the living room. He would go down to retrieve his breakfast and his lunch, then make dinner and bring it to his vigilant friend. He would attempt to console the man or try to joke his old companion out, but the attempts seemed hollow even to his own ears, and there was little response from Beast Boy. He had hooked his system up to that of the medical bay wirelessly, so that Raven's status could always been checked no matter where in the Tower Cyborg was.

And Beast Boy… when he slept, it was in the uncomfortable chair by her side. When he ate, it was with the hand that wasn't holding hers. He only left when he needed to use the restroom. Of all the Titans, he was the most affected by her actions.

He had been by her bedside since that second day, staring at her and the various monitors beeping in the background. She was silent, now her arm and leg the only cast-covered appendages, gauze still covering her forehead. He knew it was stupid, but he thought that maybe, just _maybe_, if he was beside her long enough, she would come back to him.

----------

So I think this is going to be the second to last chapter. Thanks to everyone who has ever taken the time to review - it's really nice to get feedback on something that you put so much time into. I've been responding to all the signed reviews, and I'll do that again for these last two installments of "Here With You."

Like always questions, comments, concerns - I'm here for everything. And once again, thanks for all the support :).


	9. I Believe in Yesterday

Ah, at long last, here it is. The chapter that will bring "Here With You," to a close. Thanks again to everyone who took the time to review, it was really great to get other opinions and ideas from you guys. Well, without further ado, here it is.

Disclaimer: (see the past eight chapters).

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**Chapter Nine - I Believe in Yesterday**

When he paused to look back over the past month and a half of his life, everything seemed like a dream. Like the strange, blurry, surreal things that came to him in the semiconscious stage between sleep and wakefulness. First he was in a wedding chapel, ready to get married to a woman he wasn't sure he wanted to marry, then he was getting attacked by said woman, then Raven was hurt and now… well, she was still hurt. Not much had changed, although Cyborg had informed the team that her self-healing had finally kicked in to help her during the long struggle to recovery. After her first few weeks, the gauze over her head disappeared, the casts came off, the bandages that tended to her little nicks and cuts became unnecessary; and yet still she laid there, silent and unmoving.

The first month had been the hardest. Beast Boy had spent all of his time doing little things in the infirmary. He would read Raven a book, or play music he thought she would enjoy, or he would simply sit and talk to her. She never responded to any of the stimuli he introduced, but merely lay in her bed, looking completely normal yet still lacking the ability to wake herself. He did everything it was possible for an individual to do in that large, predominantly empty room.

After the first month, the Titans had convinced him to try and get out of the medical bay more. He started eating in the kitchen, though he still ate very little, and slowly started allowing himself the occasional video game (which, to his chagrin, he was somewhat rusty with). He started attending the weekly meetings in the living room again instead of insisting that they be held were he could attend them - in the infirmary. The team never mentioned Raven in his presence except at these gatherings, although it was clear that their acknowledgement wasn't needed. Everything he did had an air of forced glee to it. The ever-present impish look that had never seemed to leave his face in the past, never seemed to return to him. It would dance fleetingly across his face, but never find enough motivation to stay.

Every time he left her, it became just a little harder. He felt guilty, as though she would wake up and ask him why he hadn't been there for her. He would sit on the chair by her bedside, stroking her hair away from her forehead idly and watching her face with rapt attention. It looked as though he were studying her features and slowly committing them, once again, to his long-term memory. She didn't look peaceful, as he had expected her to. She just looked… like Raven.

"I promise I'll be back." He whispered gently as he kissed her forehead. "I promise."

-----

"I talked to Marilyn's family the other day. She was last seen with a Dr. Gerda Pierce," Robin said as he clicked away at the Tower's main computer, bringing up the picture of a young African-American woman in a lab coat. She had on bridge-of-the-nose hugging glasses and wore her hair pulled into a tight, neat bun high on her head. "She was a big proponent of human experimentation for genetic research, which ostracized her from a lot of her peers. She worked at the Stanford Human Genome Center, but records indicate that her beliefs in genetic experimentation didn't end at humans. She did an experiment in which she spliced the DNA of a rat and an unknown sample. The record indicates that there were 'unexpected outcomes,' but doesn't really say anything else."

"Do you think that it is her that has made Marilyn evil?" Starfire asked as she stared at the severe-looking woman.

"Well from what I can piece together, Marilyn was definitely one of her experiments. If she's been with Dr. Pierce since she was four, it's possible that she was conditioned to become emotionless and bitter. That would've made her task a lot simpler." Robin answered.

"So what's this lady got against us?" Cyborg asked as he turned his attention away from the woman and towards Robin. He sighed softly.

"That's what I can't figure out."

"Well, she's going to-"

Cyborg's voice was cut off by a flat, persistent sound that originated from his left arm. The team froze, suddenly fixated by the noisy appendage.

"What is that sound?" Starfire asked cautiously. He didn't answer but instead opened a panel on his left arm. A black screen showed up with a flat, green light drawn across it. A picture of the comatose empath sat in the upper left-hand corner.

"It's Raven." He said softly.

"Damn it!" Beast Boy yelled as he jumped up from his seat on the couch. He pushed past the team as he took off towards the medical bay. "You said she would be fine!"

Cyborg gave no indication that he had heard Beast Boy. He stared at the screen before him as it became harder for him to breathe. Starfire readied to take off after the green man when a soft weight on her shoulder gave her pause. She turned to find Robin, who merely shook his head before gathering her into his arms. She closed her eyes tightly as she gripped her companion for support. The sound could only mean one thing.

Raven was dead.

-----

His chest hurt. God, why had he left her? Why had he listened to Cyborg? That sound… if it was flat, would that mean that Raven was… dead? God, it was all his fault! All the things he wanted to tell her… they didn't matter anymore. She was gone.

He tried to breathe, but with every step the task became more of a chore. His throat was hurting again. If he had just stayed by her bedside, maybe she would've woken up. Maybe he could've done something. If he had just turned into something other than a hawk two months ago, she would've been fine.

A little piece of himself, buried deep down in his subconscious, had tried to prepare him for this possibility. He had soundly ignored it. After everything they had been through, she couldn't just leave him like that. She couldn't leave him without so much as a single "goodbye." She had done that once already.

As the doors to the infirmary slid open, the flat sound showered over him like cold water on a snowy day, sending an unwelcome chill up his spine.

If she was dead he would…

Well, he would just die too. A much slower, more painful and much more conscious death, sure, but it would happen none the less. He didn't have much of a choice in the matter. He closed his eyes firmly, trying to fight back the familiar knot in his throat before he took his first step forward. He followed this with another, and another until he was near her bed. He took a deep, steadying breath as he tightened his closed eyes, trying to calm himself and regain control over his breathing, before he finally letting them open. He tried again to swallow past the lump in his throat as he raised his eyes to the top of her bed. God, he didn't want to. He didn't want to have to see her laying there, cold where she had once been so warm.

But again, he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. As his eyes slowly raised, he was met with Raven's bed, her various monitoring equipment and the wires that connected them to her all lying in a jumbled mess where she usually was. And she… she was no where to be found.

Raven was gone.

-----

"What do you mean she's gone?" Beast Boy yelled as he stared, wide-eyed, at his companions. The three stood their ground resolutely.

"She said that she was leaving. She's going to try and start another Titans base in South America." Robin answered as he discreetly stepped in front of Starifre, the former target of the green man's ire.

"You let her go? How could you let her go?" Beast Boy asked frantically. His eyes were wide in disbelief, only adding to the wild vibe he sent off. He hadn't shaved for the past couple of days causing unusual shadows to grow around his chin and neck, giving him an air of confusion. "You know we had that stupid fight, but we used to fight all the time! We were going to get better, what am I supposed to do now? How could you let her leave?"

"Friend Beast Boy, you were not among the reasons she stated for leaving." Starfire said from behind Robin. She stepped to the side to be viewed more fully. He stared at her, a strangled laugh starting to bubble up in his throat. For a second, that frustrated song was the only noise to grace the room, then it was silent.

"Of course I wasn't." He said softly as his eyes returned to their normal size. He closed them gently, then took a deep breath. "I'm not hungry tonight guys, I think I'm just going to head up to bed."

"Friend-" Starfire started. She froze in her spot as Cyborg placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned to him, frowning slightly, but he simply shook his head. She sighed, then turned back to watch her comrade's retreat.

-----

It seemed that no matter what she did, Raven just couldn't keep up with him. She could write, she could call, she could talk to him face-to-face - nothing seemed to get the desired reaction. He wouldn't hold her and tell her that he had loved her all along, that he had made the biggest mistake of his life, that he wished they could go back and be how they once were. She sat before Titans' Tower, watching the water lazily from the rock she sat on.

When was it that she had even started wanting those things from him? When did he go from the annoying little green kid to the man that she loved? She resisted the urge to snort. The man that she loved? Corny, yes. Appropriate, yes.

It wasn't a conscious decision, this whole falling in love business. It wasn't really her thing. She would prefer a lack of emotions to the torrents that had raged through her nonstop since she had first received that damn wedding invitation.

Maybe it was just her. Maybe she was just asking too much of him. She had never been so comfortable with anyone in her life before and it had just been so… nice. It was nice to know that she didn't have to hide anything from him, or be anything for him. Anything that wasn't her wasn't good enough for him.

She had woken up a half hour ago to the bright, pristine white of the medical bay walls. For a moment she had been disoriented. The rooms in Titans' South West Tower weren't quite as… blinding. For a few seconds she had lain, staring up at the ceiling before it came to her. The wedding flashed through her head, unrelenting in its meticulous attention to detail. She was sore, but that was to be expected. After all, how many people were around to say they had survived a whole rooftop falling onto their heads? She seriously doubted there were many.

She stared at the reflection the water gave of the Tower. She had spent some of her hardest years there, growing up and learning how to get along with others. Learning what her limits were and when it was appropriate to let go of every other assumption she had. She had made her first real friends there. She had her first romantic relationship there. She had her last romantic relationship there… She had confronted Trigon there. All the growing up she had ever done in her life, save for her time in Azararth, she had done there.

But it was time to go. It was time to leave all of that behind her. It was time to stop living in her past. It was time to stop using it as a model for her envisioned future. She took a deep breath as she rose to her feet, dusting off her uniform as she let herself levitate off the ground.

"Raven!" A voice came from behind her. She closed her eyes tightly. No, that wasn't Beast Boy. It was just her imagination. She had to go, she had to get back to the Titans' South West Tower. She needed to go _home_. She didn't belong here anymore. She didn't-

"Raven," Beast Boy repeated, softer this time. She slowly lowered herself to the ground, still not turning to face the changeling. They stood in silence for a couple of moments.

Beast Boy's heart was racing. He wanted to touch her so badly. He wanted to feel her skin and push back her hair and confirm that she really _was_ there with him. He wanted to tell her everything that he had thought about telling her for the past five years. He wanted to kiss her.

"Raven I… I thought you were…" he said softly, unable to finish his own sentence. He stared at the empath, though she gave him no response.

"Turn around." He pleaded gently. "Please? I just… I really want to see your face again."

For a second, he questioned whether she had heard his request. He opened his mouth, ready to speak again when he noticed her hesitation. She slowly turned in his direction.

God she was beautiful. Her hair blew around her face, a consequence of the short-tempered wind. She wore no cloak, but instead donned a leotard with a piece of fabric that flowed gracefully from her hips to her feet. She stared at him, looking guarded in a way that made her seem that much more vulnerable.

"Beast Boy… I… please, just let me go. I can't do this." She said pleaded softly.

"Marilyn was from Metropolis," he started as though she hadn't spoken at all. "It looks like she was part of a lab experiment, that was what made her half snake-demon thingy. She was kidnapped when she was four."

"How… how long was I out?"

"About two months."

She balked a little and he couldn't help but smile at the expression.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," he said gently. For a second she looked like she was going to glare at him, but then her face became blank again.

"I have to go," she said monotonously as she reached up to pull her non-existent hood onto her head. He grabbed her arms in motion.

"Raven." He said simply. She turned, carefully keeping her face blank as she stared at him. "Please… we still have a lot to talk about."

She didn't respond for a second, then slowly lowered her arms again.

"I think that it's only fair that you know… everything. After five years… this might not mean that much, but you should still hear it.

"I'm sorry," he paused for a moment, taking a deep breath as he savored the feeling of the words on his tongue. "Wow, you have no idea how long I've been wanting to say that. I'm sorry Raven. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I didn't break up with you because I was getting bored, or because I thought our relationship was getting 'old.' Or… Or because I didn't love you… I broke up with you because I was… I was scared." His eyes focused onto the ground between them as he continued talking.

"I know we've talked about our pasts and our childhoods but… well, I guess that I've just gotten used to losing things that mean a lot to me, and I just thought that… if we tried to work things out… if they ever got to the point where I wanted to… well, anywhere near the point I wanted them to go… then I would lose you. Something would happen, some kind of a freak accident, or during a fight you'd get injured, or… or my half-snake half-human fiancée would try to make a church fall on your head… Sorry, bad example, but you get the point." He looked at her again, licking his lips softly as he took another deep breath.

"I was scared Raven. I was really, _really_ scared. But you deserve to know that, and I should've told you that in the first place. I… I love you Rae. I'll do anything I can to make it up to you, just say the words."

She couldn't look at him any longer, so eager, so willing to please. Instead, she focused her attention on the bay before her.

"Raven?" Beast Boy uttered her name softly, somewhat afraid that he would startle her and she would crumble to dust before his eyes.

"What do you want me to say, Gar?"

He closed his eyes, hissing in a breath as he savored the old nickname. He knew better than to assume that she hadn't noticed the slip. If nothing else, he would garner hope from that.

"I want… I want you to say that you miss me, and that you love me too, and that you forgive me." He stated candidly as his eyes slid open. If she had heard him, she wasn't about to show it. After a couple of moments, she slowly levitated into the air.

"I have to go." She said simply.

"Raven… if you really want to go, then go. But just tell me… did you… do you think that you could still love me too?"

"That… that was a lifetime ago," She responded, her back still to him as she faced the vast distance of water stretching out before her. "That was just a dream."

"No," he said quickly as he grasped her forearm. A hint of urgency crept into his voice. "That wasn't a dream. It couldn't be. Please Rae… I want to be right here, with you."

She ceased all movement but continued staring out at the Jump City Bay. A second later, she softly shook her head.

"No, it can't just _be _like that. Things aren't that easy, Gar."

His soft grip on her forearm tightened for a second before loosening again. "But they can be."

The two were silent as Raven groped for an answer.

"Rae… do you believe that people can just… start over?" He asked suddenly. She turned her head to face him.

"…There's too much behind us."

"But it's _behind_ us. Why can't we just… look, hi, I'm Beast Boy, the resident shape-shifter and sexiest member of the Titans. I can be anything you want me to be, baby." He smirked, releasing her arm and instead extending his hand to her.

_Please take it Rae, please take it…_ He silently entreated as he watched her. She stared at his outstretched hand, her face purged of any expression. The two stood there on the island that held the famous Titans' headquarters with nothing more than the sound of the pounding surf to accompany their introverted conversations. It felt as though a lifetime had passed before Raven finally raised her eyes meet his.

A small, wry smile crossed her lips as she cautiously took his hand, letting her feet meet the ground once more.

"I'm Raven."

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I considered doing a big, dramatic ending, but then I started thinking about it… and after five years of not seeing each other I don't think it would've been appropriate. They have to go a lot slower and build their relationship back up again.

This chapter was really hard to get out because I kept finding ways to tweak and play with it. It became very, _very _frustrating. But I think I'm glad with how it came out in the end. All feedback is welcomed, as always. Thanks for reading all the way through :).


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